Adapt to Live [Part 8]
Nov. 8th, 2015 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esp_dragonFandom: Noblesse
Summary: It's been a long time since Tao had seen an angel, not since ze left Heaven and turned into a demon. Ze hadn't thought it was possible to pass through the barrier between Heaven and the physical realm without changing. M-21's task in the physical realm is to kill as many demons as they can. Except the pieces aren't fitting together.
Notes: Info-dumpy chapter.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: General
Word count: 2,993
Total word count: 19,118
Status: Work in progress
"I left Heaven to follow Boss. I haven't-"
"You gave yourself a new Lord?" Or were they talking about Muzaka?
"Well, yeah," the demon said, tilting their head at them. "I mean-" They paused, looking them over. "...Right, you probably weren't around back then, were you?"
Back then? But how did they know how old they were?
The demon sighed, taking another bite of their sandwich. "A couple thousand years ago, Boss' Lord-"
Wait. Why would they say it like that? Why not M-21's Lord? 'Your Lord'?
"-just...disappeared one day." They turned their head away, pouring some of the drink from their thermos into the lid. "We searched everywhere in Heaven, but we couldn't find a single trace of Them there."
The demon stared out at the park and M-21 watched their breath mist in front of their face, the shapes it made.
That didn't make any sense. Their Lord was back. And no-one had ever told M-21 that had happened.
"So we figured that if Boss' Lord wasn't there-"
No. The demon couldn't be saying what they thought they were going to say.
"-then they only place left to look was the physical realm."
"You...left because you were still loyal to Heaven." They hadn't left because they'd turned their back, but because they were trying to bring order back to their world.
"Huh." The demon took a sip of their drink, glancing at them. "I guess you could put it like that."
M-21 drooped their wings and ducked their head. "And you were punished for it." Like M-21's batchmates and all the other angels their Lord had sent to the physical realm.
The demon shrugged, pouring more of the drink. "Not really; we knew what we were getting into."
M-21 creased their eyebrows, not understanding. "You did?"
"How did you know what would happen to an angel here?"
That answer was easy. "My Lord told me."
The demon nodded. "We knew because Boss was one of the angels that helped make the barrier between our worlds."
Their - But then - "My Lord didn't?" How? M-21 had thought their Lord had made everything!
"Nah," the demon said, waving a hand. "Unless-" They peered at M-21. "Does your Lord have black hair?"
M-21 shook their head. "No..." Their Lords were different. So M-21's Lord must have stepped up when the demon's Lord left.
"Ah well." The demon sighed, their breath puffing in a big gust. "But yeah, it was Boss' Lord, Boss and Muzaka who made the barrier."
Muzaka as well... "Is Muzaka really the devil here?" Or was that another lie?
The demon didn't say anything and then shook their head. "Yeah, Muzaka's the devil over here, but if you're talking about some puppet master who controls all demons?" Tao snorted. "Nah. We didn't see them when we arrived here - we did see the demons trying to control humanity. That was around about when we started getting called demons, thanks to them."
"What happened to Muzaka?" Muzaka had to be powerful to have helped build the barrier; why wouldn't the other demons listen to them?
The demon frowned, their shoulders hunching up, their wings curling up around them as if to protect them from the world. "They'd disappeared too," the demon said, their voice quieter. "And the demons back then had either been created from contracts and didn't know who Muzaka was, or they didn't care, laughing in our faces when we'd tried to ask. Takeo-"
The demon froze and then pursed their lips. "The other demons wouldn't listen to our questions."
They looked away, focusing on eating again.
M-21 mulled the information over, trying to make sense of it. The demon's Lord wasn't their Lord. It was unthinkable. What had it been like back then - had things been different or were they exactly the same?
The demon was bundled up in so many layers of clothing M-21 couldn't see what mark they had to know long ago that had been.
"Why do you think your Lord left?" M-21 asked, flapping their wings a little. Would their Lord do the same? Would there be one day where someone went to meet their Lord, and their Lord was just...gone? For the connection between their Lord to be gone?
"I don't know," the demon said, setting their thermos into their bag after recapping the lid. "That's why it was so surprising. We thought Boss' Lord would always be there. But once we find Them, we'll find out."
M-21 stared at them, their core tightening. "It's been thousands of years and...you haven't found Them yet?" How could they keep going? What if - what if the demon's Lord was dead? They'd left Heaven to find their Lord and couldn't return, and for what, if they couldn't find their Lord?
"No, we haven't. But we're working on it." The demon started eating again. They looked over at M-21, a small smile on their lips, bringing their wings back behind them. "And Boss isn't looking for their Lord to get answers, angel; Boss just wants to know their Lord is safe."
Oh. If M-21's Lord did that, would they do the same? Would they have been willing to leave Heaven to try and find them? Of course they would, right? It was their duty to...follow their Lord. But there was nothing about caring for their Lord.
And following their Lord had led them to the physical realm, where they found out their batchmates and other angels had been tricked into going to as well.
Could they change into a demon while searching for their Lord and still be loyal to Them thousands of years later of not being able to find Them?
It had only been a few days here and they were questioning their Lord.
But this was their Lord; they were supposed to be unthinkingly loyal towards them.
"Would-" M-21 stopped, sensing a wild aura lashing out near them.
The demon's head jerked up. "Aw, come on!" the demon hissed, stuffing their sandwich back into their bag. "Why does this keep happening every time I'm eating outside?"
"What are you doing?" M-21 asked, straightening.
"Getting ready for a fight, because knowing my luck, the demon's going to come flitting out around that direction." The demon pointed over to their right.
Nothing happened, the rain starting to turn into snow again.
"You're supposed to rest," M-21 said as the demon stood up. They were hurt.
"I know how to fight while injured, angel," the demon said, eyeing them. "Touch is a nice sense to have, but pain sucks," they continued to grumble. "Still," they said, raising their voice, "I know how to deal with it."
A demon stumbled out from their left and M-21 fluttered back upright, getting off the bench arm.
Long red hair. Three twisting horns that could just be seen above their hair. And they were wearing a white robe that was dragging along the ground.
No.
It was M-82. They were clutching their head, their walk unsteady, their brow creased as they frowned.
"M-82," M-21 called out and their batchmate paused, lifting their head and turning towards them. "What - what are you doing here?" M-21 knew, but they couldn't - they didn't want to believe it was true.
"Angel," the demon murmured next to them. "I don't think you should try that."
This was their batchmate. They couldn't - but the last time they'd tried, the demon had gotten hurt because of them.
"Our L-" M-82 started, then stopped, staring down at their hands, bringing a black wing around to study it. "Your Lord-"
M-21 cringed at that correction, drawing their wings in at the words.
"-said I was-"
"-made for the mission," M-21 completed. No. Why. Why was their Lord continuing to do this? They couldn't think, trying to understand what their Lord was doing.
M-82 shook their head, still stepping closer. "You have to be a hallucination. A trick made by that demon."
What demon? M-21 glanced at the demon next to them, and that demon didn't have their whip out, but they didn't need it to fight, did they?
"I'm not a hallucination, M-82," M-21 said, taking a step closer.
"Angel!" the demon hissed. "It's not safe. Look at them!"
M-21 was looking at them, seeing all the changes that had happened to them. But the last time they hadn't believed the demon, the demon had gotten hurt because of them.
"But I'm a demon too now," M-82 said. "Turned my back on your Lord." They were rubbing their head, their breathing coming in short pants. They were straightening, pulling their wings back as they gazed at M-21.
"But this...body is different. It's hungry. I think that's what this feeling is."
"Hey, I've got food right here if you want something to eat," the demon said, though they didn't move just yet.
M-82 turned their head towards the demon, but didn't look at them. Their focus was on M-21.
"You're really here, aren't you?" M-82 murmured, taking another step towards them.
"I am."
"Maybe..." M-82 said, still staring at them. "You still have your angel powers." The pained expression on their face cleared. "Maybe…if I take your power I'll turn back into an angel and I'll be able to go back."
What? Wait, was that why demons attacked people with power? If angels and demons could sense Seira and Regis and they had been given the power of angels as well...
"Angel..." There was a warning in the demon's voice.
"I know," M-21 said, watching M-82, their core coiled tight. "I won't attack you this time."
M-82 summoned their sword and it was different, the blade ridged, the guard curved around their hand.
But could they allow to the demon to fight for them? M-82 wanted to attack them, not the demon.
They were supposed to be the protector, not the protected.
Though they'd proven that they hadn't done a good job with that at all since they'd come to the physical realm.
M-82 charged at them, a scream in their throat and it really was obvious how they were going to attack. After the demons M-21 had fought with Seira, it was far too easy to read what M-82 was going to do.
The demon flitted to M-82's side and - leapt back, fire lashing out from M-82's blade and attacking them. M-21 could see the demon holding their side just before they attacked again.
Dammit. It had been their fault the demon was hurt, and this was their fight. "Demon!" M-21 called out, flexing their wings. "Stay out of this!" They clenched their hand into a fist just before they summoned their sword.
The sight of that made M-82's face twist and M-21 blocked their strike. The flames leapt out, clawing at their arm and face.
They could feel the flames digging into them, like it was trying to burrow right into them and M-21 let go of their sword, flitting away.
"M-82-"
"Angel!" the demon yelled behind them. "They're trying to kill you."
And the last time someone had done that, the demon had to step in so it didn't happen.
"I know," M-21 whispered as M-82 whirled around, charging again. They couldn't attack a batchmate that easily. But they had to.
M-82 wasn't stopping, and they couldn't either.
Preparing themself, M-21 didn't bothering to summon their sword as they flitted to M-82's side. They ducked under the expected gout of flame, sweeping their leg out under M-82, putting power through their limb so it could connect.
M-82 tumbled over, their momentum making them skid across the ground.
In the time they had while M-82 scrambled to their feet, M-21 summoned their sword and flitted behind M-82, stabbing their back and flitting away again before M-82's flames could attack them.
M-82 went down with a cry, an arm wrapped around as close as they could reach.
M-21 hovered there, watching them as M-82 struggled back to their feet, using their sword to push them up.
They had to do this.
Why. Why? What was their Lord doing making them fight? There wasn't any reason for this, only for someone to keep dying? Did the Lord not want them? Sent them over to the physical realm to die?
Blood was staining the snow again, spreading out underneath M-82.
M-21 prepared themself and flitted again, this time right in front of M-82 and buried the sword into their stomach, slashing upwards.
M-82's horns and wings disappeared as they slumped over, not moving.
M-21 let go of their sword, not bothering to dismiss it as they stared up at the sky.
They drifted down, curling up on themselves as they stared at M-82's body.
They couldn't - They couldn't do this.
It wasn't worth being loyal. Not to get recognition from their Lord, or to be given a name.
They drew in their wings, shaking their head. There was a tenseness inside them, something they couldn't identify, but they couldn't trust the Lord anymore.
They didn't have faith in their Lord anymore.
They squeezed their eyes shut, no longer wanting to see, burying their face in their arms.
They felt smaller than they had before, everything about them tight, trying to collapse into themself.
Their body was tingling and it must be the aftereffects of M-82's flames affecting them somehow.
The sensation was spreading through, the tingle turning into a prickle, and it was getting stronger, moving to encompass their entire body. Their lower half was different from their top, a mild pressure starting to surround them, and what was that?
M-21 opened their eyes, but there was nothing new about them.
Except their body wasn't transparent as it used to be, and-
"Ah!" M-21 grabbed their head, feeling like taken a giant chunk out of it, leaving only half of their head there.
No. It had.
Their connection - their connection with their Lord was gone. They scrabbled at where they knew it was, where the connection had always been but there was no comforting presence there. Nothing.
An empty hole.
How could they - how had -
M-21 arched their back, their wings snapping out and they could feel themselves changing, the prickle spreading further, deeper inside of them. Something was moving inside them, making their very insides thrum and it wouldn't stop.
The air was freezing in front of their face and they were breathing, their chest moving on its own, not doing what they were telling it to. Why was their body doing this? Why was their body doing all these things they weren't telling them?
"Dammit," they heard behind them, and they wanted to turn, but they couldn't. It wasn't responding to them; it was like when the demon had stood on their chest to pin them to the ground.
They looked down instead, wanting to see how far they'd changed, almost tumbling over at the same time. They had a physical body. They weren't connected with their Lord anymore.
They had fur and claws.
What...? Their thoughts were sluggish, trying to understand everything that was happening, all the senses that were bombarding them, demanding attention.
Their body was moving again, without them telling it to do anything and how did humans control these bodies? This time it was twitching, making moving even harder as everything tightened up.
"Ange - fuck. Kid." Something pushed on their shoulder and when M-21 looked over, the movement jerky, there was a hand there. They could only move their eyes, trying to see more, but their movements were stiff. What was happening? Was this what demons went through when they transformed?
"Still with me? Nod if you think so; talking when you first start out is bad enough but in freezing temperatures - right." The hand lifted away and M-21 could see movement from the corner of their eyes. "I'm going to put my jacket around you, okay? It's a little heavy, but it'll warm you up."
Something went over their shoulders and M-21 nearly got dragged to the ground because of it.
Why...? It was still hard to think and M-21's breathing was getting shorter and faster, but the demon's actions weren't making sense.
"Kid...? Can you nod for me?" The demon's voice softer than it had been before.
Nod. They could do that. They didn't know why the demon wanted it, but they didn't know anything, did they? They dipped their head, bringing it back up again.
This time, the weight lay on M-21's head and M-21 could control more of their body, tilting their head up, something brushing into their eyes that made them flutter. It was still the demon, touching them, and the demon's face was blank. M-21 couldn't identify their expression.
"Oh, kid," the demon whispered and then they knelt down, wrapping their arms around them.
It was...strange. There was still too much going on that M-21 couldn't understand but the demon's touch was...nice. Warm? Was that what the word was? When their skin touched, M-21's skin tingled, but not in the stabbing way.
It was nice, and M-21 didn't want it to stop.
Against the dragging weight of their limbs, M-21 raised their arms towards the demon.
The demon moved away a little bit when M-21 moved, and no no no, M-21 didn't want that.
Except the demon was watching their limbs and when M-21 kept moving, they took hold of one of their hands and placed it around them.
Oh. That was what they were supposed to do. M-21 gripped the clothes there, feeling the material under their palms. So this was what touch was.
"Kid, I need to flit us out of here," the demon murmured. "The police are probably right around the corner."
M-21 didn't care. They'd turned their back on their Lord, and they'd lost the one constant in their existence, the connection they'd had with Them, ripped out of their head. What mattered now?
____________________________________
I can fiiiinally start using physical descriptors/reactions for M-21's emotions!
Aaaaand halfway through and 19k! I was expecting to reach this spot faster.
Summary: It's been a long time since Tao had seen an angel, not since ze left Heaven and turned into a demon. Ze hadn't thought it was possible to pass through the barrier between Heaven and the physical realm without changing. M-21's task in the physical realm is to kill as many demons as they can. Except the pieces aren't fitting together.
Notes: Info-dumpy chapter.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: General
Word count: 2,993
Total word count: 19,118
Status: Work in progress
"I left Heaven to follow Boss. I haven't-"
"You gave yourself a new Lord?" Or were they talking about Muzaka?
"Well, yeah," the demon said, tilting their head at them. "I mean-" They paused, looking them over. "...Right, you probably weren't around back then, were you?"
Back then? But how did they know how old they were?
The demon sighed, taking another bite of their sandwich. "A couple thousand years ago, Boss' Lord-"
Wait. Why would they say it like that? Why not M-21's Lord? 'Your Lord'?
"-just...disappeared one day." They turned their head away, pouring some of the drink from their thermos into the lid. "We searched everywhere in Heaven, but we couldn't find a single trace of Them there."
The demon stared out at the park and M-21 watched their breath mist in front of their face, the shapes it made.
That didn't make any sense. Their Lord was back. And no-one had ever told M-21 that had happened.
"So we figured that if Boss' Lord wasn't there-"
No. The demon couldn't be saying what they thought they were going to say.
"-then they only place left to look was the physical realm."
"You...left because you were still loyal to Heaven." They hadn't left because they'd turned their back, but because they were trying to bring order back to their world.
"Huh." The demon took a sip of their drink, glancing at them. "I guess you could put it like that."
M-21 drooped their wings and ducked their head. "And you were punished for it." Like M-21's batchmates and all the other angels their Lord had sent to the physical realm.
The demon shrugged, pouring more of the drink. "Not really; we knew what we were getting into."
M-21 creased their eyebrows, not understanding. "You did?"
"How did you know what would happen to an angel here?"
That answer was easy. "My Lord told me."
The demon nodded. "We knew because Boss was one of the angels that helped make the barrier between our worlds."
Their - But then - "My Lord didn't?" How? M-21 had thought their Lord had made everything!
"Nah," the demon said, waving a hand. "Unless-" They peered at M-21. "Does your Lord have black hair?"
M-21 shook their head. "No..." Their Lords were different. So M-21's Lord must have stepped up when the demon's Lord left.
"Ah well." The demon sighed, their breath puffing in a big gust. "But yeah, it was Boss' Lord, Boss and Muzaka who made the barrier."
Muzaka as well... "Is Muzaka really the devil here?" Or was that another lie?
The demon didn't say anything and then shook their head. "Yeah, Muzaka's the devil over here, but if you're talking about some puppet master who controls all demons?" Tao snorted. "Nah. We didn't see them when we arrived here - we did see the demons trying to control humanity. That was around about when we started getting called demons, thanks to them."
"What happened to Muzaka?" Muzaka had to be powerful to have helped build the barrier; why wouldn't the other demons listen to them?
The demon frowned, their shoulders hunching up, their wings curling up around them as if to protect them from the world. "They'd disappeared too," the demon said, their voice quieter. "And the demons back then had either been created from contracts and didn't know who Muzaka was, or they didn't care, laughing in our faces when we'd tried to ask. Takeo-"
The demon froze and then pursed their lips. "The other demons wouldn't listen to our questions."
They looked away, focusing on eating again.
M-21 mulled the information over, trying to make sense of it. The demon's Lord wasn't their Lord. It was unthinkable. What had it been like back then - had things been different or were they exactly the same?
The demon was bundled up in so many layers of clothing M-21 couldn't see what mark they had to know long ago that had been.
"Why do you think your Lord left?" M-21 asked, flapping their wings a little. Would their Lord do the same? Would there be one day where someone went to meet their Lord, and their Lord was just...gone? For the connection between their Lord to be gone?
"I don't know," the demon said, setting their thermos into their bag after recapping the lid. "That's why it was so surprising. We thought Boss' Lord would always be there. But once we find Them, we'll find out."
M-21 stared at them, their core tightening. "It's been thousands of years and...you haven't found Them yet?" How could they keep going? What if - what if the demon's Lord was dead? They'd left Heaven to find their Lord and couldn't return, and for what, if they couldn't find their Lord?
"No, we haven't. But we're working on it." The demon started eating again. They looked over at M-21, a small smile on their lips, bringing their wings back behind them. "And Boss isn't looking for their Lord to get answers, angel; Boss just wants to know their Lord is safe."
Oh. If M-21's Lord did that, would they do the same? Would they have been willing to leave Heaven to try and find them? Of course they would, right? It was their duty to...follow their Lord. But there was nothing about caring for their Lord.
And following their Lord had led them to the physical realm, where they found out their batchmates and other angels had been tricked into going to as well.
Could they change into a demon while searching for their Lord and still be loyal to Them thousands of years later of not being able to find Them?
It had only been a few days here and they were questioning their Lord.
But this was their Lord; they were supposed to be unthinkingly loyal towards them.
"Would-" M-21 stopped, sensing a wild aura lashing out near them.
The demon's head jerked up. "Aw, come on!" the demon hissed, stuffing their sandwich back into their bag. "Why does this keep happening every time I'm eating outside?"
"What are you doing?" M-21 asked, straightening.
"Getting ready for a fight, because knowing my luck, the demon's going to come flitting out around that direction." The demon pointed over to their right.
Nothing happened, the rain starting to turn into snow again.
"You're supposed to rest," M-21 said as the demon stood up. They were hurt.
"I know how to fight while injured, angel," the demon said, eyeing them. "Touch is a nice sense to have, but pain sucks," they continued to grumble. "Still," they said, raising their voice, "I know how to deal with it."
A demon stumbled out from their left and M-21 fluttered back upright, getting off the bench arm.
Long red hair. Three twisting horns that could just be seen above their hair. And they were wearing a white robe that was dragging along the ground.
No.
It was M-82. They were clutching their head, their walk unsteady, their brow creased as they frowned.
"M-82," M-21 called out and their batchmate paused, lifting their head and turning towards them. "What - what are you doing here?" M-21 knew, but they couldn't - they didn't want to believe it was true.
"Angel," the demon murmured next to them. "I don't think you should try that."
This was their batchmate. They couldn't - but the last time they'd tried, the demon had gotten hurt because of them.
"Our L-" M-82 started, then stopped, staring down at their hands, bringing a black wing around to study it. "Your Lord-"
M-21 cringed at that correction, drawing their wings in at the words.
"-said I was-"
"-made for the mission," M-21 completed. No. Why. Why was their Lord continuing to do this? They couldn't think, trying to understand what their Lord was doing.
M-82 shook their head, still stepping closer. "You have to be a hallucination. A trick made by that demon."
What demon? M-21 glanced at the demon next to them, and that demon didn't have their whip out, but they didn't need it to fight, did they?
"I'm not a hallucination, M-82," M-21 said, taking a step closer.
"Angel!" the demon hissed. "It's not safe. Look at them!"
M-21 was looking at them, seeing all the changes that had happened to them. But the last time they hadn't believed the demon, the demon had gotten hurt because of them.
"But I'm a demon too now," M-82 said. "Turned my back on your Lord." They were rubbing their head, their breathing coming in short pants. They were straightening, pulling their wings back as they gazed at M-21.
"But this...body is different. It's hungry. I think that's what this feeling is."
"Hey, I've got food right here if you want something to eat," the demon said, though they didn't move just yet.
M-82 turned their head towards the demon, but didn't look at them. Their focus was on M-21.
"You're really here, aren't you?" M-82 murmured, taking another step towards them.
"I am."
"Maybe..." M-82 said, still staring at them. "You still have your angel powers." The pained expression on their face cleared. "Maybe…if I take your power I'll turn back into an angel and I'll be able to go back."
What? Wait, was that why demons attacked people with power? If angels and demons could sense Seira and Regis and they had been given the power of angels as well...
"Angel..." There was a warning in the demon's voice.
"I know," M-21 said, watching M-82, their core coiled tight. "I won't attack you this time."
M-82 summoned their sword and it was different, the blade ridged, the guard curved around their hand.
But could they allow to the demon to fight for them? M-82 wanted to attack them, not the demon.
They were supposed to be the protector, not the protected.
Though they'd proven that they hadn't done a good job with that at all since they'd come to the physical realm.
M-82 charged at them, a scream in their throat and it really was obvious how they were going to attack. After the demons M-21 had fought with Seira, it was far too easy to read what M-82 was going to do.
The demon flitted to M-82's side and - leapt back, fire lashing out from M-82's blade and attacking them. M-21 could see the demon holding their side just before they attacked again.
Dammit. It had been their fault the demon was hurt, and this was their fight. "Demon!" M-21 called out, flexing their wings. "Stay out of this!" They clenched their hand into a fist just before they summoned their sword.
The sight of that made M-82's face twist and M-21 blocked their strike. The flames leapt out, clawing at their arm and face.
They could feel the flames digging into them, like it was trying to burrow right into them and M-21 let go of their sword, flitting away.
"M-82-"
"Angel!" the demon yelled behind them. "They're trying to kill you."
And the last time someone had done that, the demon had to step in so it didn't happen.
"I know," M-21 whispered as M-82 whirled around, charging again. They couldn't attack a batchmate that easily. But they had to.
M-82 wasn't stopping, and they couldn't either.
Preparing themself, M-21 didn't bothering to summon their sword as they flitted to M-82's side. They ducked under the expected gout of flame, sweeping their leg out under M-82, putting power through their limb so it could connect.
M-82 tumbled over, their momentum making them skid across the ground.
In the time they had while M-82 scrambled to their feet, M-21 summoned their sword and flitted behind M-82, stabbing their back and flitting away again before M-82's flames could attack them.
M-82 went down with a cry, an arm wrapped around as close as they could reach.
M-21 hovered there, watching them as M-82 struggled back to their feet, using their sword to push them up.
They had to do this.
Why. Why? What was their Lord doing making them fight? There wasn't any reason for this, only for someone to keep dying? Did the Lord not want them? Sent them over to the physical realm to die?
Blood was staining the snow again, spreading out underneath M-82.
M-21 prepared themself and flitted again, this time right in front of M-82 and buried the sword into their stomach, slashing upwards.
M-82's horns and wings disappeared as they slumped over, not moving.
M-21 let go of their sword, not bothering to dismiss it as they stared up at the sky.
They drifted down, curling up on themselves as they stared at M-82's body.
They couldn't - They couldn't do this.
It wasn't worth being loyal. Not to get recognition from their Lord, or to be given a name.
They drew in their wings, shaking their head. There was a tenseness inside them, something they couldn't identify, but they couldn't trust the Lord anymore.
They didn't have faith in their Lord anymore.
They squeezed their eyes shut, no longer wanting to see, burying their face in their arms.
They felt smaller than they had before, everything about them tight, trying to collapse into themself.
Their body was tingling and it must be the aftereffects of M-82's flames affecting them somehow.
The sensation was spreading through, the tingle turning into a prickle, and it was getting stronger, moving to encompass their entire body. Their lower half was different from their top, a mild pressure starting to surround them, and what was that?
M-21 opened their eyes, but there was nothing new about them.
Except their body wasn't transparent as it used to be, and-
"Ah!" M-21 grabbed their head, feeling like taken a giant chunk out of it, leaving only half of their head there.
No. It had.
Their connection - their connection with their Lord was gone. They scrabbled at where they knew it was, where the connection had always been but there was no comforting presence there. Nothing.
An empty hole.
How could they - how had -
M-21 arched their back, their wings snapping out and they could feel themselves changing, the prickle spreading further, deeper inside of them. Something was moving inside them, making their very insides thrum and it wouldn't stop.
The air was freezing in front of their face and they were breathing, their chest moving on its own, not doing what they were telling it to. Why was their body doing this? Why was their body doing all these things they weren't telling them?
"Dammit," they heard behind them, and they wanted to turn, but they couldn't. It wasn't responding to them; it was like when the demon had stood on their chest to pin them to the ground.
They looked down instead, wanting to see how far they'd changed, almost tumbling over at the same time. They had a physical body. They weren't connected with their Lord anymore.
They had fur and claws.
What...? Their thoughts were sluggish, trying to understand everything that was happening, all the senses that were bombarding them, demanding attention.
Their body was moving again, without them telling it to do anything and how did humans control these bodies? This time it was twitching, making moving even harder as everything tightened up.
"Ange - fuck. Kid." Something pushed on their shoulder and when M-21 looked over, the movement jerky, there was a hand there. They could only move their eyes, trying to see more, but their movements were stiff. What was happening? Was this what demons went through when they transformed?
"Still with me? Nod if you think so; talking when you first start out is bad enough but in freezing temperatures - right." The hand lifted away and M-21 could see movement from the corner of their eyes. "I'm going to put my jacket around you, okay? It's a little heavy, but it'll warm you up."
Something went over their shoulders and M-21 nearly got dragged to the ground because of it.
Why...? It was still hard to think and M-21's breathing was getting shorter and faster, but the demon's actions weren't making sense.
"Kid...? Can you nod for me?" The demon's voice softer than it had been before.
Nod. They could do that. They didn't know why the demon wanted it, but they didn't know anything, did they? They dipped their head, bringing it back up again.
This time, the weight lay on M-21's head and M-21 could control more of their body, tilting their head up, something brushing into their eyes that made them flutter. It was still the demon, touching them, and the demon's face was blank. M-21 couldn't identify their expression.
"Oh, kid," the demon whispered and then they knelt down, wrapping their arms around them.
It was...strange. There was still too much going on that M-21 couldn't understand but the demon's touch was...nice. Warm? Was that what the word was? When their skin touched, M-21's skin tingled, but not in the stabbing way.
It was nice, and M-21 didn't want it to stop.
Against the dragging weight of their limbs, M-21 raised their arms towards the demon.
The demon moved away a little bit when M-21 moved, and no no no, M-21 didn't want that.
Except the demon was watching their limbs and when M-21 kept moving, they took hold of one of their hands and placed it around them.
Oh. That was what they were supposed to do. M-21 gripped the clothes there, feeling the material under their palms. So this was what touch was.
"Kid, I need to flit us out of here," the demon murmured. "The police are probably right around the corner."
M-21 didn't care. They'd turned their back on their Lord, and they'd lost the one constant in their existence, the connection they'd had with Them, ripped out of their head. What mattered now?
I can fiiiinally start using physical descriptors/reactions for M-21's emotions!
Aaaaand halfway through and 19k! I was expecting to reach this spot faster.