Searching [Chapter 6]
Sep. 29th, 2011 08:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esp_dragonFandom: Original
Summary: The world of Torpin is open, dragging in xeni from other worlds. The majority of them are monsters, prone to violence. There are some, however, that are not, and are able to live amongst the human population, if allowed to. Marland should know; he's one of them. His job is to hunt and stop the xeni that seek only to destroy what's around them. On one job, a human xeno drops through a portal, an event which Marland has never heard of happening before. And that's not the only thing different about the human...
Rating: R
Notes: Contains swearing.
I didn't explain that much about Pai's 'claustraphobia' either, huh…
Aaaah, forgot that plotbunny about the first time Kendal and Marland met! XD;
Genre: Urban fantasy
Word count: 6,830
Total word count: 43,269
Status: Work in Progress (reposting, but is complete)
Shodin had finished his food by the time Marland had gotten out of the shower and used the toilet. The plate was no longer there on the table, already washed and drying on the rack. Marland dumped the clothes in the laundry basket.
Shodin glanced at him, smiling ruefully, his hair falling away as he leaned back on the chair. "I still couldn't talk to him; I could barely feel him this time." He sat forward, and started to pull his hair together, a hair tie stretched by his fingers.
Marland grunted, an ear twitching down before it went back up again. If Puzz had avoided him the first time, it wasn't a surprise that Puzz would keep avoiding him.
Once Shodin had finished, he flicked the small tail with a finger. "That does feel better, now that it's out the way." Shodin hummed, and shook his head vigorously. The tail swished a little, but only a few pale strands worked their way free. Shodin blew at them a couple of times, and then tucked them behind his ears when they fell straight back into his face.
Hmm. He looked a little different like that, with his hair away from his face; his head didn't look so small.
Shodin then cocked his head to the side, and waved a hand in the air. "Do you think I should try again?"
Marland stared at him. He couldn't have heard that right. Shodin couldn’t be thinking about doing that again. "You wanna try using magic again?" After that kind of reaction, who would want to do it again so soon?
Shodin nodded firmly. "I can't really avoid it, and the only way I can stop panicking is when my body realises that something doesn't happen when I use magic."
That did make sense, but there was another way of looking at it. "What if something does happen?"
Shodin shrugged. "I don't think anything will." He changed his posture slightly so his elbow rested on the table, his fist under his cheek. "Nothing bad happened the 'first' –I suppose- time I used magic, and I merely thought that something would happen the second time, but it didn't."
Marland threw him a considering look. "What if something did happen, and you didn't realise it?" …Like Puzz. That could have been the reason why Puzz had become distant, because he was getting affected by whatever Shodin was scared of. But that didn’t make any sense. Puzz could use magic as well, and he'd been fine and more than willing to use it. So…maybe it was a superstition or taboo from Shodin's world?
Shodin frowned, and his fist slowly unfurled until his thumb was braced under his chin, his fingers stretched along his jaw. "Wouldn't you be able to tell if I was acting differently?"
Maybe. It wasn't like he knew Shodin that well, really. And he could barely predict what Shodin was going to do anyway, so how would he know if Shodin was acting differently or was the same as he normally was?
Shodin hummed, his index finger tapping a quick beat. "Well, I guess the only way we can find out is if we try!" He grinned at Marland, head tilted to the side.
…Marland really couldn't understand Shodin's thought processes. Or his optimism.
He looked at Shodin doubtfully, his ears halfway down. "If you're sure..." It was Shodin's own body and life, so it was his decision to make if he wanted it. But...Puzz could also be affected by it – but they couldn't exactly ask him, and even if they were able to somehow, Marland doubted they'd get an understandable answer from him. That was him assuming though. It wasn't like he'd talked with Puzz enough to know if he was as unpredictable as Shodin was.
His ears twitched. Okay, that wasn't true: the very first time they'd met, Puzz had been pleased that he wasn't human, and he pushed for Marland to trust Shodin, both of which were things that Marland wasn't exactly accustomed to hearing. The time after that, Puzz had been panicking and had thought that Shodin knew him. Wasn't exactly unpredictable for Marland, but maybe unexpected?
Shodin nodded again, and then glanced around. "Do you think I should stand, or should I stay sitting?"
Marland's ears flattened. "Sitting," he said immediately. He didn't want Shodin to fall on top of him again.
Nodding, Shodin pushed his chair back so that it faced Marland and then leaned back on it. He took a few breaths and closed his eyes at the same time. After a pretty deep breath, Shodin opened his eyes again, smiled at Marland and lifted his right hand, palm up. Marland watched as his palm began to glow softly, while he kept an eye on Shodin’s face at the same time. It seemed like it was going slower this time, the brightness taking longer to appear.
Even then, Marland could see that Shodin was still being affected. His eyes were shut in concentration, and maybe something else, and his lips began to purse as Marland watched. Maybe it was just in concentration, but then Shodin's breathing changed subtly, stuttering a little bit, and began to quicken. His eyebrows drew in, making him look like he was in pain and his fingers twitched - the glow began to flicker like a candle in the wind.
Marland wondered if he should stop Shodin before he got farther. It would stop the panic, but he wasn't sure if Shodin would want him to do that. He tried to think of the reasons why Shodin would want to keep going, and failed pretty badly. He then continued to watch him, and his ears went back further after every second. He couldn't predict what Shodin would say or do, and even if he tried to think in the opposite way of his own normal thinking, it would still be completely wrong from what Shodin would do.
Shodin swallowed, his teeth gritted, and his fingers twitched even more. He took a few more deep breaths, but that didn't seem to do anything. Marland could barely see the glow now, it flickered so much. It had also dimmed to the point where it was barely distinguishable from the lighting in the room.
Suddenly, Shodin choked, and closed his hand, the glow disappearing like it had last time. His hand instantly clutched at the fabric over his heart and he hunched over in the chair, his breathing rough and uneven. He swayed in the chair, and ended up leaning to the side, an arm braced on the table. He was shaking before then, not as bad as before, but that really, really didn't mean much. So it didn't really matter what the difference was in how much he shook.
"Huh," Shodin wheezed. It sounded like he was trying to keep his tone light but it didn't work - his breathing was still uneven, and it just sounded like he'd just coughed instead. Shodin looked up at Marland, his smile shaky, but it was still there and real. "I'm not quite sure if that was more successful than before."
Marland thought that it might have been. He was talking afterwards faster, but maybe that just because he was trying to hide how much he'd been affected by it. Or maybe Shodin knew better what to expect, so he hid his reaction better. Marland regarded him closely. Shodin was sweating, most of it beaded around his forehead. The shaking was still present, but it looked like it had faded a little bit, and had started to calm down. His face had cleared up, so that his eyebrows were no longer scrunched up, and his mouth was also relaxed. But he did look better than last time. Still, that was only what Marland could see - what Shodin felt could be completely different to what he looked like.
"What do you think?"
Marland shrugged with his wings, the ruffling of them loud in the room. "You recovered faster." Because that was all he could say.
Shodin hummed, and used his other hand to brush his fingers through his hair. Or he would have, if it hadn't been tied back. He looked startled for a second, his eyes widening, then laughed. It was more of a chuckle, and it had a breathless edge to it, but it was still louder than his usual chuckles.
He tried to do it again as a corner of his mouth quirked up; his fingers were only able to comb and move the hair, but they couldn’t actually make his hair come out of the hair tie. He then flicked at the tail.
"I'm going to have to get used to that," Shodin mused as he flicked the tail again. "Or I'll just form another habit." With a sigh, Shodin straightened up in the chair, and his right hand moved to rub at his shoulder. There were goosebumps on his arms.
Shodin was...avoiding the issue? Or at least, he was changing the topic. Which was the same thing.
Shodin was quiet for a while, his hand slowly moving up and down his shoulder; he didn’t look at Marland, but the shaking was eventually calming down more, and his breathing was becoming steadier. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes briefly before he opened them again and looked at Marland.
"I do think that trying to do it slowly helped." A frown grew on Shodin’s face, his eyes to the ground. "I couldn't really tell, but the panicked feeling was also gradual to build up, and when it did hit me, it wasn't as hard as last time." He shook his head, his hand already raised to brush his hair away from his face. He got about half-way there, before his hand stopped, and he chuckled again. "Hmm, I didn't realise I had that many habits concerning my hair."
The buzzer rang, and Marland glanced at it, his head cocked. It had only been, what, a day since Pai left? She wouldn't have come back already, not unless she was really worried about something. Padding over to his door, he lifted the receiver.
"Yeah?"
There wasn't an answer. He waited a couple of seconds, just in case they took a while to respond, but Pai would have ‘answered’ by now.
"Hey, is 'zis Joris?"
Marland's ears flicked to the side. The voice was male, slurred, and a little faint. Great. "No." He hung up.
A few seconds later, the buzzer rang again, long and unbroken. It echoed in his head, and it felt like it was hitting him directly in the ears. His eyes narrowed, Marland switched the intercom off. The buzzer died, and he sighed at the silence.
"That wasn't Paizinel, then?"
Marland shook his head as he walked back over. "No." The colour was coming back to Shodin, and he seemed more relaxed as well. Good for him; Marland felt like he was going to a mild headache for a while. He'd still be able to function, easily, but he'd rather not have to deal with the distraction or the annoyance of it.
He looked at Shodin closely and saw the slight disappointment in his drooped shoulders and that his smile had dimmed a notch. Marland really hoped the two wouldn’t be able to spend that much time together, because he really didn’t want to see the results of their conversations. Especially if it involved him. Of course, if he knew Paizinel, she would probably come over as soon as she felt comfortable again, just to talk with Shodin, and to see how else Shodin had affected him. And be far too gleeful about the entire thing. She'd also be interested in Shodin trying to relearn (maybe? Shodin might have picked it up from Puzz or something) magic.
"You thinking about doing it again?"
Shodin hummed as his fingers tapped on the table. "No, I don't think so," he said eventually. "I think twice is enough so far, and I should probably rest in between each one." He smiled at Marland. "If I continue practicing too much, I may end up reinforcing my fear."
It made sense, but wasn't he doing that already? Every time he used magic, he freaked out. But if he did it bit by bit, and slowly enough that it was a gradual change, maybe that was what would make the difference. Maybe. Marland hadn't tried to get over his own fears or associations, because they were there for a good reason, and they weren't unfounded, so he didn't know about how you stopped yourself from reacting like that.
The conversation was interrupted by yawns. Marland wasn't entirely sure who started it, but by the end of it, they were both yawning as wide as their mouths could let them.
"I guess that's our sign that we should get to bed?" Shodin quirked a smile at him as he ran a hand over his head.
How long had they been awake for? It hadn't been that long, but the fight wouldn't have helped, and they were both still healing.
He grunted, nodding. Together, they slipped off to their bedrooms, though Shodin went to switch the light off first.
With a wing extended over his head, Marland fell asleep straight away.
* * *
Marland twitched and his breath stuttered for a second; his ears flicked back and forth and then pointed towards the door.
What…?
Slowly, the door creaked open. Marland realised that what had woken him up was the turning of the handle. He readied his hands, his claws coming out, and prepared himself to launch himself from his bed. He also called his magic to him, preparing it, but not calling enough for it to form.
The intruder didn't take a step into the room right away, and paused at the threshold. Marland could hear them breathing, but it was even, quiet. The person then dropped lightly onto all fours and padded into the room; they sat down with a huff just where the door stopped.
Marland cracked an eye open, and shifted his wing slightly so he could see from underneath it. It was Shodin who had sat in front of him, his head cocked to the side, his eyes wide open, and his face was expressionless.
Oh hell no. It was Puzz. Why was he…? Marland just wanted to ignore him, pretend he was still asleep (and he should be – there was some light coming in through the window), except Puzz seemed to know he was awake.
Puzz came over as soon as Marland saw him and after a second's deliberation, jumped up on the bed and sat down next to him.
What. The fuck.
Marland froze, and wondered what the hell was going on. Puzz continued to sit there, his knees up and spread while his arms dangled in the space between them. Puzz looked over to him, his head cocked. What the hell was he doing here? After another couple of seconds, Puzz turned around so that he faced him squarely, and then lay on the bed, his forearms flat on the bed and sitting on his knees.
What. The. Hell?
Marland backed away from him instantly, his ears pinned down and he lifted his wings away from his face fully so he could see Puzz clearly, a mix of a hiss and a growl coming from his throat. Puzz didn’t notice. All he did was cock his head to the side and then shifted himself so that they weren't so parallel to each other.
Since the bed was pushed up against the wall -and it was only a single bed- Marland hit the wall in seconds and his wings flapped on instinct on the impact. All Puzz did was watch as he did that, his expression not changing.
Actually, no, Puzz did respond to his growling, and tried to give an approximation of his own growl back, his head rolling in a circle - and Marland was sure that if Shodin had a tail, it would have been waving frantically. Shodin's throat wasn't made for the range -or the sound- Puzz was trying to make it go through so it sounded like breathy low howl to Marland's ears.
They stayed like that, staring at each other. When Puzz didn't seem to do anything else, Marland got up on all fours and started backing off the bed. Puzz freaking followed him. He stood up as well, turned around in a circle and then took as many steps towards him as Marland took away from him.
Marland snarled at him, his teeth bared and beat his wings for emphasis.
Puzz barely even blinked. He paused, a hand raised, before he closed that extra step.
What the fucking hell?
He was not going to be backed into a fucking corner! Marland stopped trying to get off the bed and got back on it properly instead; he dumped his ass down on the mattress, his wings hanging over the edge, bristling at Puzz. "What the hell do you want?" The words were barely distinguishable from the growl that rumbled from his throat.
Puzz gazed up at him with wide, sorrowful eyes and said, "Shodin doesn't remember me."
Marland stared, his shoulders hunched, as disbelief ran through him. What the hell? Why was he telling him this? "Okay...?" Shodin knew that, Puzz knew that, and maybe knew that Marland knew that, if he'd been paying attention when he'd found out (which was doubtful), so why was Puzz telling him this?
Puzz threw himself down on the bed, his hands under his chin, the picture of an abandoned puppy. "Shodin doesn't remember me," he repeated, his voice dark with despair.
Marland's ears flattened. Why was he dealing with Puzz in this state? Why was Puzz even out when there wasn't anything threatening Shodin? He couldn't have come out just to talk with him. Why would he? He had Shodin to talk to, and it was his own damn fault he’d avoided him when Shodin tried to talk to him. And Puzz had probably tried talking with Shodin when he'd been fast asleep or something.
Why was Puzz talking about this now? It had been over a day since he'd found out, or had he been moping the entire time?
It was too late in the morning for Marland to be dealing with this. He glared at Puzz, but that was completely ineffective. He was starting to feel groggy again, the adrenaline having run its course now that he knew he wasn't in any danger. He could feel a dull throbbing in his shoulder though, and Marland grumbled, his ears down. The painkillers must have begun to wear off at some point while he had slept; he would have woken up anyway, but he would have preferred it if he'd been alone in the room when that happened.
He stared at Puzz, waiting to see what he would do next. All he did was sigh, blowing the hair away from his face. Marland waited for longer, just in case, but Puzz wasn't dangerous right now, and unless something came through the front door, he should be relatively docile. Just very whiny, and far too close to him.
Slowly, Marland got off the bed. As soon as he stood up, Puzz perked up, his head raised and eyes interested. Marland stopped, waiting. Puzz didn't move, though he looked like he could barely contain his energy, bouncing up slightly. He really did remind Marland of an eager dog, or an enthusiastic puppy. Maybe that was what he was like, if he had his own form. Marland paused to consider that thought. Out of all the xeni he'd seen, they'd all had their own bodies - the only reason why he knew about possession was because of all the films he'd watched over the years. Puzz was the first one he'd seen without one. Had he always never had his own body, or had something happened?
Marland shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. Why was he thinking that now? It wouldn't matter if he found out; it wouldn't change anything. Xeni were always different, so there would always be something that would be outside the norm for him, something else he couldn't understand.
When he took a step away from the bed, Puzz, unsurprisingly, also stood up on all fours and took a step towards him.
"What are you doing?" he growled, his ears flicking forward.
Puzz cocked his head to the side and blinked. "Following you," he said, as if that explained absolutely everything.
Marland huffed, his wings twitching. "Why." He wasn't sure why he was even asking.
Puzz frowned, his eyebrows drawn in concentration. "Why not?" Because he wasn't going to get an answer he liked.
He growled, his wings extended. "Because I don't like it." Fucking hell, now he was talking like Puzz.
Puzz looked stumped at the idea, his head cocked, and clearly didn’t understand, or didn’t think it was even possible for that to happen. He was probably part of a highly social group. Marland poked at that thought. Or it was because he was used to sharing the same head and thoughts as another - what was physical space to them after that? At least Shodin didn't think the same as Puzz about that.
Marland dragged a palm down his face, his ears flat. There wasn't any point in trying to explain it further; Puzz wouldn't understand, and it would just keep dragging on until Marland passed out from the pain or something. He shouldn’t but his brain could try to shut down in an attempt to get away from Puzz. It was doubtful, but it was a thought, though he really wouldn't want to deal with the whining (from either of them) when he eventually woke up.
"I'm getting painkillers," he muttered as he walked out the door. And that was how used he was to Shodin already - he was announcing what he was going to without prompting. His ears flattened, and he ducked his head. Puzz hopped off the bed and followed him.
The sunlight that filtered through the curtains wasn't that bad in the main room; it was still annoying, but his eyes adjusted to it after he'd kept his eyes open for long enough. Marland got out a new packet of chocolate and opened it, then eyed Puzz after he'd had a piece. Puzz had clambered onto the couch, and was watching him avidly over the back.
Sighing, Marland asked, "You want one?" Huh. Looked like he wasn't completely assuming as much as he used to. If it was Shodin, he would have given him one without asking first - and would probably be told that Shodin hadn't really actually wanted a piece, but he'd take it anyway, a smile on his face.
Puzz wrinkled his nose, drawing back. He didn't need to say anything more than that. Marland shouldn't have been so surprised at that; they were different people, so they had different tastes, even if they had the same tastebuds.
He finished the piece and contemplated having a second one. The pain wasn't that bad yet, and he wasn't sure how long it had been since the last time he'd had a piece of chocolate. So it might just be wearing off right now and the pain would get worse, or it had worn off a while ago, and that was all he was going to be feeling for now. Better not to risk it. Marland closed off the wrapper and put it back in the cupboard.
Puzz hadn't moved again, and was still watching him.
Marland's ear twitched, and he growled half-heartedly at him. Barely even a blink. "What?"
Puzz huffed, setting his head down on the back of the couch, a whine in his throat.
It was better than the panicking Puzz. Really. Either way, Marland didn't know what to do with them. Except when Puzz was panicking, at least he was justified in yelling back.
There wasn't much else Marland could do, so he went back to his room. Puzz had already made it into his room before Marland's wings had cleared the door, and he glared at him. Puzz didn't notice, already settling himself on the bed.
He growled at him, eyes narrowed. "Go to bed," he ordered him, a shade away from snarling.
Puzz stared at him blankly before his eyes flicked down for a second, then back up at him, puzzled. "I'm in a bed."
…Oh fucking hell, you had to be fucking kidding. "Your – gnh, Shodin’s bed."
Puzz whined, his eyes wide.
Marland didn't move, and kept glaring at him.
Still no reaction from him; not one that Marland wanted anyway. Puzz continue lay on the bed like he had last time, his knees tucked under him, his forearms on the bed. His eyes were downcast, and he hunched down on himself. "Shodin's hurting."
He knew that.
And Puzz would know that too. ...Or maybe not, because Puzz should have started panicking or took over Shodin as soon as Shodin had started attempting to do magic.
But why the hell was he talking with him over it? "Go talk with Shodin about it."
Puzz hunched himself over even more at Marland's words, another whine escaping his throat. Marland's ears flattened briefly at the sound. "He doesn't know me."
And what did that have to do with anything? "You said that already." Most of their conversations together just seemed to go around in circles. It was like Puzz's entire world had just been destroyed in front of him because Shodin didn't remember him. Which, okay, that did make sense, because Shodin was the only person who knew him here.
Puzz didn't say anything to that, and seemed like he was trying to bury himself into the mattress. Marland sighed irritably. There wasn't any point in trying to continue the conversation, but he wanted to sleep dammit. The chocolate had begun to help with the pain in his shoulder at least, but not for the one developing in his head.
He could try to sleep on the couch, but he would end up crushing one of his wings. And Puzz would just follow there anyway.
"So why're you talking with me?"
Puzz sighed, looking up to him. "Wanted to."
"...And Shodin's still asleep." He'd meant that to be a question, but it didn't come out that way, not that he really cared. It had taken him a little too long to realise the problem of Puzz being in control, other than Puzz being annoying and giving him headaches. He'd been distracted though, what with Puzz not seeming to have any sense of personal space.
Puzz raised his head and cocked it to the side, like he was trying to listen to something. His eyes went half-lidded, his breathing slowed and he swayed a little from side to side. After a couple of seconds, he blinked and then shook his head, snorting a little. "He's still sleeping."
Well, at least it meant that Shodin wasn't completely trapped in his own head again. ...But then, did Puzz go through sleep cycles as well? Which didn't make sense because Puzz didn't have a body, but he was using Shodin's, which would need rest at some point. But sleeping wasn't just about resting the body, was it? It was also to rest the mind and if one mind was wide awake...
That meant Marland could expect more late morning waking ups from Puzz in the future. He growled, his ears going flat. He would not be looking forward to that.
"So now you want to talk to him?" He couldn't avoid him, Puzz was faster than him, and in some way, Marland didn't want to leave Puzz alone just in case he started doing something stupid.
Puzz frowned and then shook his head. "Said I wanted to talk with you."
"Why." Why the hell would he want to? Or was it just because he was the only person here, who wasn't Shodin?
"Shodin was learning how to use...magic," Puzz said slowly, trying out the last word, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
"Yeah...?" If they were going to have a conversation just around about facts that Puzz knew, Marland might end up falling asleep anyway.
"He shouldn't."
Marland narrowed his eyes. He hadn't been expecting that, but he should definitely know by now that he would never be able to predict anything those two did. "Why not?"
"Because it hurts."
He really wished Puzz would talk in longer sentences; it meant he wouldn't have to talk as much either. "It hurts you too."
At that, Puzz shook his head. "It doesn't," he said plainly, finally sitting up so he was only sitting on his knees. His arms dangled by his side. "Only Shodin. He shouldn't use magic."
That was weird. "Why doesn't it hurt you?" It was only Shodin who became scared?
Puzz stared at him and then frowned slightly as he looked away. "Because...I don't know."
Marland sighed. It was useless trying to make sense of something if one person had memory problems. Though, he'd only really assumed that, hadn't he? And Marland wasn't really one to judge, because he reacted on instinct a lot of the time without knowing why; his magic was one of them, and he couldn’t explain anything about it when he had been asked.
"Do you remember anything?" he prodded. He should probably try to get some answers for Shodin – it would stop him from asking those questions at least - or probably start a whole slew of them. But whatever he did, Shodin would always have questions, so it didn't really matter.
Puzz frowned, and looked away again. He was quiet for a few minutes, and then shook his head. "Walls and trees." Right. He shouldn't have expected anything that would make sense. "Pain." Puzz's breathing stuttered. "Lots of pain."
Marland eyed him, and waited to see if Puzz would say anything else, but he didn't, his head bowed and his fingers twitching. So Puzz had a slightly better memory of what had happened before, but not by much, and nothing that could be considered an answer either. Still, if Puzz reacted like that, then it was probably a good thing that neither of them could remember anything.
Shaking his head roughly, Puzz mulishly said, "Don't want Shodin doing magic."
Marland shrugged and snorted. "You think I'd be able to stop him?"
He got a firm nod in return. "Yes."
Ha. Marland snorted again. "He wouldn't listen to me and just keep doing it anyway." If there was something Shodin was interested in, he went after it. Simple. He was pretty hard to derail once he had the idea in his head, and he kept coming back to it later, even after Marland had thought the subject was closed.
Puzz grumbled, his shoulders drooping. He should know how stubborn Shodin was –even with the memory problems; he should have seen what Shodin was like now- but if he was only concerned with protecting him, that could have eclipsed everything else.
That was when Marland remembered something. "You don't want Shodin doing magic, but you don't mind me doing it?" He paused. "And you can do it too," he added as an afterthought. This conversation was going all over the place, picking up half-forgotten threads that had been discarded a while ago.
Puzz frowned. "I said that?" He shook his head. "Better for protection."
"Wouldn't it be better if Shodin could protect himself as well?" And what the hell was he saying? Ugh. Marland blamed his mouth going off before his brain could even process the question properly on the lack of sleep. He was just reacting at the moment.
But the only way he could get some sleep would be if he was lying next to Puzz. And there was no fucking way that was going to happen. He wouldn't want to explain to Shodin why the hell he had woken up in Marland's bed either. Unless Puzz wandered off back to his…their…his bed while he was sleeping, but he really didn't want to trust that to happen, because it wouldn't. If Puzz had no problem with personal space, then there wouldn't be any point in leaving, right?
He was also trying to convince Puzz that it was okay for Shodin to try and do magic. Which, while he hadn't been completely against it when Shodin had suggested it, then if or when Shodin did learn how to control his…their…yeah, their magic, Shodin would be trying to come with him when he went out hunting. By then, he wouldn't really have a reason why not to bring Shodin, apart from 'lack of experience', and Shodin had already argued against that one.
Then what Puzz said filtered through. Marland growled at him, wings flicking out. "Who says I'm going to protect him?"
As usual, Puzz wasn't affected by his threat display. "You have magic." Again, it was said in a simple tone, like it was obvious.
"Just because I have magic, doesn't automatically mean I'll protect him." Except it did, because Marland's job was essentially to protect humans. It wouldn't matter if Marland had magic or not. And if he didn't protect him, he'd get blamed for Shodin's death. He could also be blamed for trying to protect Shodin as well, depending on the person.
"But…" Puzz trailed off, wrinkling his nose. "Yes, he would be better protected if he could use magic too." And he'd just completely ignored what Marland had just said.
He sighed. No point trying to correct him; he was extremely stubborn when it was about Shodin's safety - not to mention, it was true that he would protect Shodin, just not because he wanted to.
"So you'll be teaching Shodin how to do magic then?"
At that, Puzz's face crumpled. Oh fucking hell. Did he just start the cycle all over again?
"He doesn't remember me."
"And that affects things, how?" he snapped.
Puzz shook his head, gathering himself. It was slow, but he eventually didn't look so downtrodden. "Shouldn't be here," he said quietly. What? Then, "Don't know how to teach him." That was said just as quietly.
"What do you mean, 'shouldn't be here?'" That had come out of nowhere. And who shouldn't be here? Him? Shodin? Or Puzz?
Puzz hunkered down more, as a small whine escaped his throat. "Don't know. Just know shouldn't be here."
Great. "So…" Marland said as he eyed him, "you're going to try and leave?" He really didn't want to see the results if that happened. He doubted either of them would be able to survive for very long, not unless someone took them in. Which could be entirely possible, but he wondered how they would react when Puzz eventually took over Shodin.
He got a blink as a response, and then a shake of the head, his shoulders slumping. "Can't. Shodin wouldn't want to." And Shodin was his entire world. So, Puzz cared that much about Shodin, but Shodin didn't remember him whatsoever. That would be pretty hard to take.
Suddenly Puzz froze, his eyes flying wide and his breath stuttering. His eyes then glazed over, becoming half-lidded again, and he fell forward, rolling to the side when he hit the bed. Marland barely had enough time to blink before Puzz stiffened, and raised a hand to rub at his head.
He got up slowly, his legs crossing under him as he sat back. Marland could already guess what had happened.
Shodin jerked back when he noticed that he wasn't alone. After the initial shock, the surprise was quickly replaced with curiosity.
"Mar-" he began, before he stopped halfway, and frowned in puzzlement. He cleared his throat, one hand going to lightly touch the bandages around his neck.
"Ah, I guess-" He cleared his throat again. "-that you were talking with Puzz again?"
Marland nodded, and then watched Shodin take in the room around him, his eyes going back and forth. Not that there was anything interesting in his room. Not to Marland anyway; to Shodin, it probably had a wealth of stuff to be asked about.
Shodin then stretched slowly, threading his fingers together and raised them high above his head. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes soft, his knuckles tapping lightly on his knee.
"Hmm," Shodin eventually said, getting off the bed. "Well, I need to use the restroom." While Marland was still trying to get past the fact that Shodin hadn't asked one single question, Shodin was already at the door. "Sleep well," he said softly just as he left the room.
What the hell? Shodin wasn't going to ask? That was weird… But, Puzz had been avoiding him, and then Shodin woke up in the middle of their conversation, so… That had to look weird. And Puzz would – argh, why the hell did he care?
Because he'd been in their situation – still was, completely cut off from his home world, with no-one who was familiar.
Marland covered his eyes with a palm. Why the hell was he attempting to think of a way to fix this? It wasn't like he was any good –or had any experience- with how to deal with that kind of close friendship. Or whatever the hell you could call whatever Shodin and Puzz had.
He sighed as he stalked out his room and headed to the bathroom. It wasn't long before Shodin emerged again. He inclined his head, his eyebrows showing a little confusion.
"Puzz is worried about you and – and, really I have no fucking idea how the hell he thinks." In the time that they'd spent talking with each other, they hadn't really covered that much. Explaining something wasn't Marland's strong point either. Or talking, really.
Shodin blinked and Marland whirled around to go back to his room, not sure why he was, because Shodin would ask more questions anyway so there was no point in leaving.
"Wait, I don't understand."
Grumbling, Marland sat down on one of the chairs. He nearly missed and toppled over because he wasn't careful enough. He just wanted to go back to sleep. "I don't either. All I know is that he's worried about you and he's freaking out over how you don't remember him."
Shodin's eyebrows where drawn together as he sat on the chair closest to Marland. "But then, if that's how he feels, then wouldn't it be better if we got to know each other again, rather than avoiding me?"
"Ha," Marland snorted. "You want logical thinking from him?" And Puzz was…hurt too. If Pai had suddenly forgotten all about him, Marland would definitely be affected by it. Kendal's team too, but for different reasons – they'd be trying to kill him.
Marland doubted that he could be bothered with trying to get to know them again if that happened either. What would be the point? They wouldn't remember what had caused them to be friends in the first place, or anything else after that and... Marland didn't know. Maybe he would try with Pai; he wasn't sure about Kendal's team - they wouldn't allow him the chance to explain.
He shrugged, his wings rustling. "Go ask 'im; if I tried to guess, I'd be wrong." Shodin might get a better answer from him, if he was able to actually talk to Puzz. Maybe. Marland had no idea how Puzz talked with Shodin.
Shodin nodded slowly, his hair fluttering over his face. He brushed them away and tucked them behind his ear. "Yes, you're right," he murmured, twining a few strands of hair around his fingers. "I should apologise for this."
Apologise for what, exactly? For jumping to conclusions, or for forgetting him? The second one didn't make that much sense but then again, this was Shodin, so he never made sense to Marland.
Shodin got up, scratching the back of his head, the smile back in his eyes. "We should probably get back to bed."
Marland glared at him as his ears went flat. He'd been in his bed asleep when all this happened, and he would have liked to have stayed there throughout it without anyone else entering it. Grumbling, he got to his feet as well and went back to his room. He heard Shodin walking behind him, and he might have said something else, but Marland was concerned with his bed, and his bed only, so he ignored it.
Curling up, his wing raised again to ward off the brightening light in the room, Marland tried to get to sleep.
And mostly failed. It took him more than an hour before he drifted off, but he'd been too damn awake after all that talking and walking around. Ugh.
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Summary: The world of Torpin is open, dragging in xeni from other worlds. The majority of them are monsters, prone to violence. There are some, however, that are not, and are able to live amongst the human population, if allowed to. Marland should know; he's one of them. His job is to hunt and stop the xeni that seek only to destroy what's around them. On one job, a human xeno drops through a portal, an event which Marland has never heard of happening before. And that's not the only thing different about the human...
Rating: R
Notes: Contains swearing.
I didn't explain that much about Pai's 'claustraphobia' either, huh…
Aaaah, forgot that plotbunny about the first time Kendal and Marland met! XD;
Genre: Urban fantasy
Word count: 6,830
Total word count: 43,269
Status: Work in Progress (reposting, but is complete)
Shodin had finished his food by the time Marland had gotten out of the shower and used the toilet. The plate was no longer there on the table, already washed and drying on the rack. Marland dumped the clothes in the laundry basket.
Shodin glanced at him, smiling ruefully, his hair falling away as he leaned back on the chair. "I still couldn't talk to him; I could barely feel him this time." He sat forward, and started to pull his hair together, a hair tie stretched by his fingers.
Marland grunted, an ear twitching down before it went back up again. If Puzz had avoided him the first time, it wasn't a surprise that Puzz would keep avoiding him.
Once Shodin had finished, he flicked the small tail with a finger. "That does feel better, now that it's out the way." Shodin hummed, and shook his head vigorously. The tail swished a little, but only a few pale strands worked their way free. Shodin blew at them a couple of times, and then tucked them behind his ears when they fell straight back into his face.
Hmm. He looked a little different like that, with his hair away from his face; his head didn't look so small.
Shodin then cocked his head to the side, and waved a hand in the air. "Do you think I should try again?"
Marland stared at him. He couldn't have heard that right. Shodin couldn’t be thinking about doing that again. "You wanna try using magic again?" After that kind of reaction, who would want to do it again so soon?
Shodin nodded firmly. "I can't really avoid it, and the only way I can stop panicking is when my body realises that something doesn't happen when I use magic."
That did make sense, but there was another way of looking at it. "What if something does happen?"
Shodin shrugged. "I don't think anything will." He changed his posture slightly so his elbow rested on the table, his fist under his cheek. "Nothing bad happened the 'first' –I suppose- time I used magic, and I merely thought that something would happen the second time, but it didn't."
Marland threw him a considering look. "What if something did happen, and you didn't realise it?" …Like Puzz. That could have been the reason why Puzz had become distant, because he was getting affected by whatever Shodin was scared of. But that didn’t make any sense. Puzz could use magic as well, and he'd been fine and more than willing to use it. So…maybe it was a superstition or taboo from Shodin's world?
Shodin frowned, and his fist slowly unfurled until his thumb was braced under his chin, his fingers stretched along his jaw. "Wouldn't you be able to tell if I was acting differently?"
Maybe. It wasn't like he knew Shodin that well, really. And he could barely predict what Shodin was going to do anyway, so how would he know if Shodin was acting differently or was the same as he normally was?
Shodin hummed, his index finger tapping a quick beat. "Well, I guess the only way we can find out is if we try!" He grinned at Marland, head tilted to the side.
…Marland really couldn't understand Shodin's thought processes. Or his optimism.
He looked at Shodin doubtfully, his ears halfway down. "If you're sure..." It was Shodin's own body and life, so it was his decision to make if he wanted it. But...Puzz could also be affected by it – but they couldn't exactly ask him, and even if they were able to somehow, Marland doubted they'd get an understandable answer from him. That was him assuming though. It wasn't like he'd talked with Puzz enough to know if he was as unpredictable as Shodin was.
His ears twitched. Okay, that wasn't true: the very first time they'd met, Puzz had been pleased that he wasn't human, and he pushed for Marland to trust Shodin, both of which were things that Marland wasn't exactly accustomed to hearing. The time after that, Puzz had been panicking and had thought that Shodin knew him. Wasn't exactly unpredictable for Marland, but maybe unexpected?
Shodin nodded again, and then glanced around. "Do you think I should stand, or should I stay sitting?"
Marland's ears flattened. "Sitting," he said immediately. He didn't want Shodin to fall on top of him again.
Nodding, Shodin pushed his chair back so that it faced Marland and then leaned back on it. He took a few breaths and closed his eyes at the same time. After a pretty deep breath, Shodin opened his eyes again, smiled at Marland and lifted his right hand, palm up. Marland watched as his palm began to glow softly, while he kept an eye on Shodin’s face at the same time. It seemed like it was going slower this time, the brightness taking longer to appear.
Even then, Marland could see that Shodin was still being affected. His eyes were shut in concentration, and maybe something else, and his lips began to purse as Marland watched. Maybe it was just in concentration, but then Shodin's breathing changed subtly, stuttering a little bit, and began to quicken. His eyebrows drew in, making him look like he was in pain and his fingers twitched - the glow began to flicker like a candle in the wind.
Marland wondered if he should stop Shodin before he got farther. It would stop the panic, but he wasn't sure if Shodin would want him to do that. He tried to think of the reasons why Shodin would want to keep going, and failed pretty badly. He then continued to watch him, and his ears went back further after every second. He couldn't predict what Shodin would say or do, and even if he tried to think in the opposite way of his own normal thinking, it would still be completely wrong from what Shodin would do.
Shodin swallowed, his teeth gritted, and his fingers twitched even more. He took a few more deep breaths, but that didn't seem to do anything. Marland could barely see the glow now, it flickered so much. It had also dimmed to the point where it was barely distinguishable from the lighting in the room.
Suddenly, Shodin choked, and closed his hand, the glow disappearing like it had last time. His hand instantly clutched at the fabric over his heart and he hunched over in the chair, his breathing rough and uneven. He swayed in the chair, and ended up leaning to the side, an arm braced on the table. He was shaking before then, not as bad as before, but that really, really didn't mean much. So it didn't really matter what the difference was in how much he shook.
"Huh," Shodin wheezed. It sounded like he was trying to keep his tone light but it didn't work - his breathing was still uneven, and it just sounded like he'd just coughed instead. Shodin looked up at Marland, his smile shaky, but it was still there and real. "I'm not quite sure if that was more successful than before."
Marland thought that it might have been. He was talking afterwards faster, but maybe that just because he was trying to hide how much he'd been affected by it. Or maybe Shodin knew better what to expect, so he hid his reaction better. Marland regarded him closely. Shodin was sweating, most of it beaded around his forehead. The shaking was still present, but it looked like it had faded a little bit, and had started to calm down. His face had cleared up, so that his eyebrows were no longer scrunched up, and his mouth was also relaxed. But he did look better than last time. Still, that was only what Marland could see - what Shodin felt could be completely different to what he looked like.
"What do you think?"
Marland shrugged with his wings, the ruffling of them loud in the room. "You recovered faster." Because that was all he could say.
Shodin hummed, and used his other hand to brush his fingers through his hair. Or he would have, if it hadn't been tied back. He looked startled for a second, his eyes widening, then laughed. It was more of a chuckle, and it had a breathless edge to it, but it was still louder than his usual chuckles.
He tried to do it again as a corner of his mouth quirked up; his fingers were only able to comb and move the hair, but they couldn’t actually make his hair come out of the hair tie. He then flicked at the tail.
"I'm going to have to get used to that," Shodin mused as he flicked the tail again. "Or I'll just form another habit." With a sigh, Shodin straightened up in the chair, and his right hand moved to rub at his shoulder. There were goosebumps on his arms.
Shodin was...avoiding the issue? Or at least, he was changing the topic. Which was the same thing.
Shodin was quiet for a while, his hand slowly moving up and down his shoulder; he didn’t look at Marland, but the shaking was eventually calming down more, and his breathing was becoming steadier. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes briefly before he opened them again and looked at Marland.
"I do think that trying to do it slowly helped." A frown grew on Shodin’s face, his eyes to the ground. "I couldn't really tell, but the panicked feeling was also gradual to build up, and when it did hit me, it wasn't as hard as last time." He shook his head, his hand already raised to brush his hair away from his face. He got about half-way there, before his hand stopped, and he chuckled again. "Hmm, I didn't realise I had that many habits concerning my hair."
The buzzer rang, and Marland glanced at it, his head cocked. It had only been, what, a day since Pai left? She wouldn't have come back already, not unless she was really worried about something. Padding over to his door, he lifted the receiver.
"Yeah?"
There wasn't an answer. He waited a couple of seconds, just in case they took a while to respond, but Pai would have ‘answered’ by now.
"Hey, is 'zis Joris?"
Marland's ears flicked to the side. The voice was male, slurred, and a little faint. Great. "No." He hung up.
A few seconds later, the buzzer rang again, long and unbroken. It echoed in his head, and it felt like it was hitting him directly in the ears. His eyes narrowed, Marland switched the intercom off. The buzzer died, and he sighed at the silence.
"That wasn't Paizinel, then?"
Marland shook his head as he walked back over. "No." The colour was coming back to Shodin, and he seemed more relaxed as well. Good for him; Marland felt like he was going to a mild headache for a while. He'd still be able to function, easily, but he'd rather not have to deal with the distraction or the annoyance of it.
He looked at Shodin closely and saw the slight disappointment in his drooped shoulders and that his smile had dimmed a notch. Marland really hoped the two wouldn’t be able to spend that much time together, because he really didn’t want to see the results of their conversations. Especially if it involved him. Of course, if he knew Paizinel, she would probably come over as soon as she felt comfortable again, just to talk with Shodin, and to see how else Shodin had affected him. And be far too gleeful about the entire thing. She'd also be interested in Shodin trying to relearn (maybe? Shodin might have picked it up from Puzz or something) magic.
"You thinking about doing it again?"
Shodin hummed as his fingers tapped on the table. "No, I don't think so," he said eventually. "I think twice is enough so far, and I should probably rest in between each one." He smiled at Marland. "If I continue practicing too much, I may end up reinforcing my fear."
It made sense, but wasn't he doing that already? Every time he used magic, he freaked out. But if he did it bit by bit, and slowly enough that it was a gradual change, maybe that was what would make the difference. Maybe. Marland hadn't tried to get over his own fears or associations, because they were there for a good reason, and they weren't unfounded, so he didn't know about how you stopped yourself from reacting like that.
The conversation was interrupted by yawns. Marland wasn't entirely sure who started it, but by the end of it, they were both yawning as wide as their mouths could let them.
"I guess that's our sign that we should get to bed?" Shodin quirked a smile at him as he ran a hand over his head.
How long had they been awake for? It hadn't been that long, but the fight wouldn't have helped, and they were both still healing.
He grunted, nodding. Together, they slipped off to their bedrooms, though Shodin went to switch the light off first.
With a wing extended over his head, Marland fell asleep straight away.
Marland twitched and his breath stuttered for a second; his ears flicked back and forth and then pointed towards the door.
What…?
Slowly, the door creaked open. Marland realised that what had woken him up was the turning of the handle. He readied his hands, his claws coming out, and prepared himself to launch himself from his bed. He also called his magic to him, preparing it, but not calling enough for it to form.
The intruder didn't take a step into the room right away, and paused at the threshold. Marland could hear them breathing, but it was even, quiet. The person then dropped lightly onto all fours and padded into the room; they sat down with a huff just where the door stopped.
Marland cracked an eye open, and shifted his wing slightly so he could see from underneath it. It was Shodin who had sat in front of him, his head cocked to the side, his eyes wide open, and his face was expressionless.
Oh hell no. It was Puzz. Why was he…? Marland just wanted to ignore him, pretend he was still asleep (and he should be – there was some light coming in through the window), except Puzz seemed to know he was awake.
Puzz came over as soon as Marland saw him and after a second's deliberation, jumped up on the bed and sat down next to him.
What. The fuck.
Marland froze, and wondered what the hell was going on. Puzz continued to sit there, his knees up and spread while his arms dangled in the space between them. Puzz looked over to him, his head cocked. What the hell was he doing here? After another couple of seconds, Puzz turned around so that he faced him squarely, and then lay on the bed, his forearms flat on the bed and sitting on his knees.
What. The. Hell?
Marland backed away from him instantly, his ears pinned down and he lifted his wings away from his face fully so he could see Puzz clearly, a mix of a hiss and a growl coming from his throat. Puzz didn’t notice. All he did was cock his head to the side and then shifted himself so that they weren't so parallel to each other.
Since the bed was pushed up against the wall -and it was only a single bed- Marland hit the wall in seconds and his wings flapped on instinct on the impact. All Puzz did was watch as he did that, his expression not changing.
Actually, no, Puzz did respond to his growling, and tried to give an approximation of his own growl back, his head rolling in a circle - and Marland was sure that if Shodin had a tail, it would have been waving frantically. Shodin's throat wasn't made for the range -or the sound- Puzz was trying to make it go through so it sounded like breathy low howl to Marland's ears.
They stayed like that, staring at each other. When Puzz didn't seem to do anything else, Marland got up on all fours and started backing off the bed. Puzz freaking followed him. He stood up as well, turned around in a circle and then took as many steps towards him as Marland took away from him.
Marland snarled at him, his teeth bared and beat his wings for emphasis.
Puzz barely even blinked. He paused, a hand raised, before he closed that extra step.
What the fucking hell?
He was not going to be backed into a fucking corner! Marland stopped trying to get off the bed and got back on it properly instead; he dumped his ass down on the mattress, his wings hanging over the edge, bristling at Puzz. "What the hell do you want?" The words were barely distinguishable from the growl that rumbled from his throat.
Puzz gazed up at him with wide, sorrowful eyes and said, "Shodin doesn't remember me."
Marland stared, his shoulders hunched, as disbelief ran through him. What the hell? Why was he telling him this? "Okay...?" Shodin knew that, Puzz knew that, and maybe knew that Marland knew that, if he'd been paying attention when he'd found out (which was doubtful), so why was Puzz telling him this?
Puzz threw himself down on the bed, his hands under his chin, the picture of an abandoned puppy. "Shodin doesn't remember me," he repeated, his voice dark with despair.
Marland's ears flattened. Why was he dealing with Puzz in this state? Why was Puzz even out when there wasn't anything threatening Shodin? He couldn't have come out just to talk with him. Why would he? He had Shodin to talk to, and it was his own damn fault he’d avoided him when Shodin tried to talk to him. And Puzz had probably tried talking with Shodin when he'd been fast asleep or something.
Why was Puzz talking about this now? It had been over a day since he'd found out, or had he been moping the entire time?
It was too late in the morning for Marland to be dealing with this. He glared at Puzz, but that was completely ineffective. He was starting to feel groggy again, the adrenaline having run its course now that he knew he wasn't in any danger. He could feel a dull throbbing in his shoulder though, and Marland grumbled, his ears down. The painkillers must have begun to wear off at some point while he had slept; he would have woken up anyway, but he would have preferred it if he'd been alone in the room when that happened.
He stared at Puzz, waiting to see what he would do next. All he did was sigh, blowing the hair away from his face. Marland waited for longer, just in case, but Puzz wasn't dangerous right now, and unless something came through the front door, he should be relatively docile. Just very whiny, and far too close to him.
Slowly, Marland got off the bed. As soon as he stood up, Puzz perked up, his head raised and eyes interested. Marland stopped, waiting. Puzz didn't move, though he looked like he could barely contain his energy, bouncing up slightly. He really did remind Marland of an eager dog, or an enthusiastic puppy. Maybe that was what he was like, if he had his own form. Marland paused to consider that thought. Out of all the xeni he'd seen, they'd all had their own bodies - the only reason why he knew about possession was because of all the films he'd watched over the years. Puzz was the first one he'd seen without one. Had he always never had his own body, or had something happened?
Marland shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. Why was he thinking that now? It wouldn't matter if he found out; it wouldn't change anything. Xeni were always different, so there would always be something that would be outside the norm for him, something else he couldn't understand.
When he took a step away from the bed, Puzz, unsurprisingly, also stood up on all fours and took a step towards him.
"What are you doing?" he growled, his ears flicking forward.
Puzz cocked his head to the side and blinked. "Following you," he said, as if that explained absolutely everything.
Marland huffed, his wings twitching. "Why." He wasn't sure why he was even asking.
Puzz frowned, his eyebrows drawn in concentration. "Why not?" Because he wasn't going to get an answer he liked.
He growled, his wings extended. "Because I don't like it." Fucking hell, now he was talking like Puzz.
Puzz looked stumped at the idea, his head cocked, and clearly didn’t understand, or didn’t think it was even possible for that to happen. He was probably part of a highly social group. Marland poked at that thought. Or it was because he was used to sharing the same head and thoughts as another - what was physical space to them after that? At least Shodin didn't think the same as Puzz about that.
Marland dragged a palm down his face, his ears flat. There wasn't any point in trying to explain it further; Puzz wouldn't understand, and it would just keep dragging on until Marland passed out from the pain or something. He shouldn’t but his brain could try to shut down in an attempt to get away from Puzz. It was doubtful, but it was a thought, though he really wouldn't want to deal with the whining (from either of them) when he eventually woke up.
"I'm getting painkillers," he muttered as he walked out the door. And that was how used he was to Shodin already - he was announcing what he was going to without prompting. His ears flattened, and he ducked his head. Puzz hopped off the bed and followed him.
The sunlight that filtered through the curtains wasn't that bad in the main room; it was still annoying, but his eyes adjusted to it after he'd kept his eyes open for long enough. Marland got out a new packet of chocolate and opened it, then eyed Puzz after he'd had a piece. Puzz had clambered onto the couch, and was watching him avidly over the back.
Sighing, Marland asked, "You want one?" Huh. Looked like he wasn't completely assuming as much as he used to. If it was Shodin, he would have given him one without asking first - and would probably be told that Shodin hadn't really actually wanted a piece, but he'd take it anyway, a smile on his face.
Puzz wrinkled his nose, drawing back. He didn't need to say anything more than that. Marland shouldn't have been so surprised at that; they were different people, so they had different tastes, even if they had the same tastebuds.
He finished the piece and contemplated having a second one. The pain wasn't that bad yet, and he wasn't sure how long it had been since the last time he'd had a piece of chocolate. So it might just be wearing off right now and the pain would get worse, or it had worn off a while ago, and that was all he was going to be feeling for now. Better not to risk it. Marland closed off the wrapper and put it back in the cupboard.
Puzz hadn't moved again, and was still watching him.
Marland's ear twitched, and he growled half-heartedly at him. Barely even a blink. "What?"
Puzz huffed, setting his head down on the back of the couch, a whine in his throat.
It was better than the panicking Puzz. Really. Either way, Marland didn't know what to do with them. Except when Puzz was panicking, at least he was justified in yelling back.
There wasn't much else Marland could do, so he went back to his room. Puzz had already made it into his room before Marland's wings had cleared the door, and he glared at him. Puzz didn't notice, already settling himself on the bed.
He growled at him, eyes narrowed. "Go to bed," he ordered him, a shade away from snarling.
Puzz stared at him blankly before his eyes flicked down for a second, then back up at him, puzzled. "I'm in a bed."
…Oh fucking hell, you had to be fucking kidding. "Your – gnh, Shodin’s bed."
Puzz whined, his eyes wide.
Marland didn't move, and kept glaring at him.
Still no reaction from him; not one that Marland wanted anyway. Puzz continue lay on the bed like he had last time, his knees tucked under him, his forearms on the bed. His eyes were downcast, and he hunched down on himself. "Shodin's hurting."
He knew that.
And Puzz would know that too. ...Or maybe not, because Puzz should have started panicking or took over Shodin as soon as Shodin had started attempting to do magic.
But why the hell was he talking with him over it? "Go talk with Shodin about it."
Puzz hunched himself over even more at Marland's words, another whine escaping his throat. Marland's ears flattened briefly at the sound. "He doesn't know me."
And what did that have to do with anything? "You said that already." Most of their conversations together just seemed to go around in circles. It was like Puzz's entire world had just been destroyed in front of him because Shodin didn't remember him. Which, okay, that did make sense, because Shodin was the only person who knew him here.
Puzz didn't say anything to that, and seemed like he was trying to bury himself into the mattress. Marland sighed irritably. There wasn't any point in trying to continue the conversation, but he wanted to sleep dammit. The chocolate had begun to help with the pain in his shoulder at least, but not for the one developing in his head.
He could try to sleep on the couch, but he would end up crushing one of his wings. And Puzz would just follow there anyway.
"So why're you talking with me?"
Puzz sighed, looking up to him. "Wanted to."
"...And Shodin's still asleep." He'd meant that to be a question, but it didn't come out that way, not that he really cared. It had taken him a little too long to realise the problem of Puzz being in control, other than Puzz being annoying and giving him headaches. He'd been distracted though, what with Puzz not seeming to have any sense of personal space.
Puzz raised his head and cocked it to the side, like he was trying to listen to something. His eyes went half-lidded, his breathing slowed and he swayed a little from side to side. After a couple of seconds, he blinked and then shook his head, snorting a little. "He's still sleeping."
Well, at least it meant that Shodin wasn't completely trapped in his own head again. ...But then, did Puzz go through sleep cycles as well? Which didn't make sense because Puzz didn't have a body, but he was using Shodin's, which would need rest at some point. But sleeping wasn't just about resting the body, was it? It was also to rest the mind and if one mind was wide awake...
That meant Marland could expect more late morning waking ups from Puzz in the future. He growled, his ears going flat. He would not be looking forward to that.
"So now you want to talk to him?" He couldn't avoid him, Puzz was faster than him, and in some way, Marland didn't want to leave Puzz alone just in case he started doing something stupid.
Puzz frowned and then shook his head. "Said I wanted to talk with you."
"Why." Why the hell would he want to? Or was it just because he was the only person here, who wasn't Shodin?
"Shodin was learning how to use...magic," Puzz said slowly, trying out the last word, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
"Yeah...?" If they were going to have a conversation just around about facts that Puzz knew, Marland might end up falling asleep anyway.
"He shouldn't."
Marland narrowed his eyes. He hadn't been expecting that, but he should definitely know by now that he would never be able to predict anything those two did. "Why not?"
"Because it hurts."
He really wished Puzz would talk in longer sentences; it meant he wouldn't have to talk as much either. "It hurts you too."
At that, Puzz shook his head. "It doesn't," he said plainly, finally sitting up so he was only sitting on his knees. His arms dangled by his side. "Only Shodin. He shouldn't use magic."
That was weird. "Why doesn't it hurt you?" It was only Shodin who became scared?
Puzz stared at him and then frowned slightly as he looked away. "Because...I don't know."
Marland sighed. It was useless trying to make sense of something if one person had memory problems. Though, he'd only really assumed that, hadn't he? And Marland wasn't really one to judge, because he reacted on instinct a lot of the time without knowing why; his magic was one of them, and he couldn’t explain anything about it when he had been asked.
"Do you remember anything?" he prodded. He should probably try to get some answers for Shodin – it would stop him from asking those questions at least - or probably start a whole slew of them. But whatever he did, Shodin would always have questions, so it didn't really matter.
Puzz frowned, and looked away again. He was quiet for a few minutes, and then shook his head. "Walls and trees." Right. He shouldn't have expected anything that would make sense. "Pain." Puzz's breathing stuttered. "Lots of pain."
Marland eyed him, and waited to see if Puzz would say anything else, but he didn't, his head bowed and his fingers twitching. So Puzz had a slightly better memory of what had happened before, but not by much, and nothing that could be considered an answer either. Still, if Puzz reacted like that, then it was probably a good thing that neither of them could remember anything.
Shaking his head roughly, Puzz mulishly said, "Don't want Shodin doing magic."
Marland shrugged and snorted. "You think I'd be able to stop him?"
He got a firm nod in return. "Yes."
Ha. Marland snorted again. "He wouldn't listen to me and just keep doing it anyway." If there was something Shodin was interested in, he went after it. Simple. He was pretty hard to derail once he had the idea in his head, and he kept coming back to it later, even after Marland had thought the subject was closed.
Puzz grumbled, his shoulders drooping. He should know how stubborn Shodin was –even with the memory problems; he should have seen what Shodin was like now- but if he was only concerned with protecting him, that could have eclipsed everything else.
That was when Marland remembered something. "You don't want Shodin doing magic, but you don't mind me doing it?" He paused. "And you can do it too," he added as an afterthought. This conversation was going all over the place, picking up half-forgotten threads that had been discarded a while ago.
Puzz frowned. "I said that?" He shook his head. "Better for protection."
"Wouldn't it be better if Shodin could protect himself as well?" And what the hell was he saying? Ugh. Marland blamed his mouth going off before his brain could even process the question properly on the lack of sleep. He was just reacting at the moment.
But the only way he could get some sleep would be if he was lying next to Puzz. And there was no fucking way that was going to happen. He wouldn't want to explain to Shodin why the hell he had woken up in Marland's bed either. Unless Puzz wandered off back to his…their…his bed while he was sleeping, but he really didn't want to trust that to happen, because it wouldn't. If Puzz had no problem with personal space, then there wouldn't be any point in leaving, right?
He was also trying to convince Puzz that it was okay for Shodin to try and do magic. Which, while he hadn't been completely against it when Shodin had suggested it, then if or when Shodin did learn how to control his…their…yeah, their magic, Shodin would be trying to come with him when he went out hunting. By then, he wouldn't really have a reason why not to bring Shodin, apart from 'lack of experience', and Shodin had already argued against that one.
Then what Puzz said filtered through. Marland growled at him, wings flicking out. "Who says I'm going to protect him?"
As usual, Puzz wasn't affected by his threat display. "You have magic." Again, it was said in a simple tone, like it was obvious.
"Just because I have magic, doesn't automatically mean I'll protect him." Except it did, because Marland's job was essentially to protect humans. It wouldn't matter if Marland had magic or not. And if he didn't protect him, he'd get blamed for Shodin's death. He could also be blamed for trying to protect Shodin as well, depending on the person.
"But…" Puzz trailed off, wrinkling his nose. "Yes, he would be better protected if he could use magic too." And he'd just completely ignored what Marland had just said.
He sighed. No point trying to correct him; he was extremely stubborn when it was about Shodin's safety - not to mention, it was true that he would protect Shodin, just not because he wanted to.
"So you'll be teaching Shodin how to do magic then?"
At that, Puzz's face crumpled. Oh fucking hell. Did he just start the cycle all over again?
"He doesn't remember me."
"And that affects things, how?" he snapped.
Puzz shook his head, gathering himself. It was slow, but he eventually didn't look so downtrodden. "Shouldn't be here," he said quietly. What? Then, "Don't know how to teach him." That was said just as quietly.
"What do you mean, 'shouldn't be here?'" That had come out of nowhere. And who shouldn't be here? Him? Shodin? Or Puzz?
Puzz hunkered down more, as a small whine escaped his throat. "Don't know. Just know shouldn't be here."
Great. "So…" Marland said as he eyed him, "you're going to try and leave?" He really didn't want to see the results if that happened. He doubted either of them would be able to survive for very long, not unless someone took them in. Which could be entirely possible, but he wondered how they would react when Puzz eventually took over Shodin.
He got a blink as a response, and then a shake of the head, his shoulders slumping. "Can't. Shodin wouldn't want to." And Shodin was his entire world. So, Puzz cared that much about Shodin, but Shodin didn't remember him whatsoever. That would be pretty hard to take.
Suddenly Puzz froze, his eyes flying wide and his breath stuttering. His eyes then glazed over, becoming half-lidded again, and he fell forward, rolling to the side when he hit the bed. Marland barely had enough time to blink before Puzz stiffened, and raised a hand to rub at his head.
He got up slowly, his legs crossing under him as he sat back. Marland could already guess what had happened.
Shodin jerked back when he noticed that he wasn't alone. After the initial shock, the surprise was quickly replaced with curiosity.
"Mar-" he began, before he stopped halfway, and frowned in puzzlement. He cleared his throat, one hand going to lightly touch the bandages around his neck.
"Ah, I guess-" He cleared his throat again. "-that you were talking with Puzz again?"
Marland nodded, and then watched Shodin take in the room around him, his eyes going back and forth. Not that there was anything interesting in his room. Not to Marland anyway; to Shodin, it probably had a wealth of stuff to be asked about.
Shodin then stretched slowly, threading his fingers together and raised them high above his head. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes soft, his knuckles tapping lightly on his knee.
"Hmm," Shodin eventually said, getting off the bed. "Well, I need to use the restroom." While Marland was still trying to get past the fact that Shodin hadn't asked one single question, Shodin was already at the door. "Sleep well," he said softly just as he left the room.
What the hell? Shodin wasn't going to ask? That was weird… But, Puzz had been avoiding him, and then Shodin woke up in the middle of their conversation, so… That had to look weird. And Puzz would – argh, why the hell did he care?
Because he'd been in their situation – still was, completely cut off from his home world, with no-one who was familiar.
Marland covered his eyes with a palm. Why the hell was he attempting to think of a way to fix this? It wasn't like he was any good –or had any experience- with how to deal with that kind of close friendship. Or whatever the hell you could call whatever Shodin and Puzz had.
He sighed as he stalked out his room and headed to the bathroom. It wasn't long before Shodin emerged again. He inclined his head, his eyebrows showing a little confusion.
"Puzz is worried about you and – and, really I have no fucking idea how the hell he thinks." In the time that they'd spent talking with each other, they hadn't really covered that much. Explaining something wasn't Marland's strong point either. Or talking, really.
Shodin blinked and Marland whirled around to go back to his room, not sure why he was, because Shodin would ask more questions anyway so there was no point in leaving.
"Wait, I don't understand."
Grumbling, Marland sat down on one of the chairs. He nearly missed and toppled over because he wasn't careful enough. He just wanted to go back to sleep. "I don't either. All I know is that he's worried about you and he's freaking out over how you don't remember him."
Shodin's eyebrows where drawn together as he sat on the chair closest to Marland. "But then, if that's how he feels, then wouldn't it be better if we got to know each other again, rather than avoiding me?"
"Ha," Marland snorted. "You want logical thinking from him?" And Puzz was…hurt too. If Pai had suddenly forgotten all about him, Marland would definitely be affected by it. Kendal's team too, but for different reasons – they'd be trying to kill him.
Marland doubted that he could be bothered with trying to get to know them again if that happened either. What would be the point? They wouldn't remember what had caused them to be friends in the first place, or anything else after that and... Marland didn't know. Maybe he would try with Pai; he wasn't sure about Kendal's team - they wouldn't allow him the chance to explain.
He shrugged, his wings rustling. "Go ask 'im; if I tried to guess, I'd be wrong." Shodin might get a better answer from him, if he was able to actually talk to Puzz. Maybe. Marland had no idea how Puzz talked with Shodin.
Shodin nodded slowly, his hair fluttering over his face. He brushed them away and tucked them behind his ear. "Yes, you're right," he murmured, twining a few strands of hair around his fingers. "I should apologise for this."
Apologise for what, exactly? For jumping to conclusions, or for forgetting him? The second one didn't make that much sense but then again, this was Shodin, so he never made sense to Marland.
Shodin got up, scratching the back of his head, the smile back in his eyes. "We should probably get back to bed."
Marland glared at him as his ears went flat. He'd been in his bed asleep when all this happened, and he would have liked to have stayed there throughout it without anyone else entering it. Grumbling, he got to his feet as well and went back to his room. He heard Shodin walking behind him, and he might have said something else, but Marland was concerned with his bed, and his bed only, so he ignored it.
Curling up, his wing raised again to ward off the brightening light in the room, Marland tried to get to sleep.
And mostly failed. It took him more than an hour before he drifted off, but he'd been too damn awake after all that talking and walking around. Ugh.