Chosen [Part 29]
May. 8th, 2012 08:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esp_dragonFandom: Original
Summary: Ras has just been chosen by the Gods to protect humans from geists, beings that prey on people's souls. Sent by Them to aid her is Aldran, a psyven; through the bond forged on their first meeting, Aldran can pass his magic to Ras for her to use against the geists. Only those bonded with psyvens can fight the geists, as a psyven's magic is the one magic that is truly effective against them.
But stories are told to children to placate fears and soothe nightmares. Ras has to learn that Aldran and living as a khertan are not what she expected and that the danger is very real.
While she adjusts to her new life, she and Aldran begin to discover all is not as it seems; however, realising and accepting the truth is not easy and ultimately, in the end, is it worth it?
Rating: PG
Notes: Haaaaaaaaaaa, omg, characterisation. XD;;;
...And I'm repeating a part that's already been said in an earlier part, whoops. *keeps going* NaNo time!
I was supposed to post this on Sunday. Pfft. And I missed writing on Sunday and yesterday. Orz Seeing how there's still the rest of the revelation and…at least two fights left to go, I'm noooot sure if I'm going to be able to hit the June deadline. XD;;;;;
Genre: Fantasy/Friendship
Word count: 1,721
Total word count: 63,994
Status: Work in progress
Ras couldn't stop now; not after everything she had learned, not after knowing that what she'd learned had helped to keep her and Aldran alive. Even if - even if she didn't like what she had learned, she had to know it for both their sakes. She had a moment of doubt just then -she'd wanted to forget before; what was stopping her from wanting to forget again once she learned the truth?- except that that thought was reflected in Aldran's eyes and she could see it so clearly. Aldran was expecting her to not push, or learn the truth and then ask for her memories to be erased. Again.
And that made another hard truth hit Ras like a punch to the stomach: he'd known. He'd known about the geists. He'd known about her memory loss and never told her. But he'd always tried to watch her back, tried to make sure that she wasn't about to overwork herself when casting his magic. Protecting her.
She wanted to take a step back and really look at Aldran again, but she knew if she did that he would take that as a sign of her making a decision. And she realised how long she had been standing there and saying nothing, and Aldran could take as an admission itself.
It was the resignation in his eyes, buried pain and acceptance of that in his eyes that made Ras want to hug Aldran. But she didn't want to do it when he looked like that.
"Aldran," she said quietly but firmly, "I want to know." She stole a quick breath and carried on before he could protest. "No, I need to know. Everything we've learned, it's helped us and made sure we live longer, that we can do our job better. I don't - I don't know why I would choose to forget-" here, Aldran flinched, his tail whipping in agitation, and Ras did not like seeing that, and now it wasn't just her curiosity that demanded to be sated anymore "-but I do think that I'm more prepared to handle what this truth is." She hoped, feeling all sorts a liar. She didn't know what she had been thinking last time -had she felt this confident? Had she been warned before what she would be discovering?- and that just made her thoughts spiral. How much time had she lost? Hours? Days? Months? How many of the khertan knew? Did all of the psyven know this? It was making her panic, her heart hammer in her chest, and that was definitely something they both didn't need right now.
When Aldran didn't respond, his eyes away from her, his tail still, Ras swallowed and hesitantly continued talking. "Not knowing enough about the geists has nearly gotten us killed if we hadn't gone searching for ourselves and I... I would prefer to not keep making the wrong assumptions."
"But that has made you happy," Aldran said softly, his eyes still downcast.
And that just made Ras' stomach plummet. She didn't know how to - How could she fight Aldran's conviction when it was the truth that she had already chosen to forget once already? Taking a deep breath, Ras said, "I may have been happy while not knowing, but now... Now I think I feel worse because of it."
"It's what you chose."
Ras sighed, wondering what she had been thinking when she had asked for her memories to be erased. Her eyes slid away before she shook her head. There was one way to find out - if she could just say the words.
Her fingers fidgeted nervously against each other before they started playing with her pendant. She took a deep breath and tried to give Aldran an as direct stare as she could. "That...is what I chose last time; this time, I choose to learn." She couldn't say that she would keep her memories, because she didn't know that, and so did Aldran, his head dipping slightly, his eyes sad.
His mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. "...And if you regret learning it?"
Ras shook her head, gritting her teeth at the despondent tone. "I have learned a lot during my time as a khertan - I have never regretted what we've found. Shocked, surprised, yes, but I have never regretted it."
Aldran sat down heavily on the chair, his shoulders hunched, his tail flicking at at the tip. "I can't. You won't accept it." He mumbled just then, and Ras couldn't catch his words.
Frowning and trying to ignore her slowly developing headache and how much her stomach was twisting, Ras half-wished he wasn't so stubborn. She sat down in the chair next to his, watching him carefully. He wasn't going to tell her, that much was obvious - Ras wasn't sure what she could say to him that would assure him she would keep her memories, especially when she had already proved she had not.
So, if Aldran wouldn't tell her, then she would have to try and puzzle this out by herself and hope that Aldran gave enough accidental hints through his reactions that she could piece it all together. Ras glanced at the discarded book on the table and picked it up, flicking through it again; it had been this book that had started this entire discussion so maybe it could end it too.
"Ras..." Aldran said, a weak warning in his words. "Please, don't."
"This is hurting you," Ras said, keeping her eyes focused on the book, trying to find something, anything that jumped out to her.
"And you'll hurt yourself doing this."
"I don't-" Ras cut herself off with a hiss. She did care if she was hurt, but she also cared that Aldran was hurting and she didn't want some exchange of one person always being hurt. She glowered at the pages in front of her. "You're alone right now; you've been watching me to make sure I don't hurt myself more, but you... When I said I wanted to go to the library to read more about khertan and psyven, you came with me." To maybe try and steer her away from the truth, but he hadn't done that, had he? He'd been there while she gathered up the pieces but never actually held her back; he knew it was important for her to know. "Aldran," she said, lifting her head. "You want me to know, but you're afraid I'll want to forget it again, aren't you?"
Aldran was silent, staring at the rest of the books on the table. All at once, he curled up even further into himself. "It's - you-" He took a shuddering breath. "Yes."
Ras didn't press him, still flicking through the book. It hadn't worked before, and they were mostly going around in circles now. What had they been talking about before this had started? She had realised that... Ras glanced at one of the pages - it had a drawing of a khertan and psyven pair, fighting a geist. That was what it had been: that psyven seemed to have some similarities with geists that it had seemed almost deliberate. And it had been the Gods that had created them, so surely They must have Their reason for it?
She bit her lip, but carried on. It had been the mention of geists eating souls, paired with what that geist had hinted at before. Ras glanced away, her stomach squirming even worse as those pieces fell back together, but she had to know. "Aldran," she said softly, because the idea was absurd, but Aldran had reacted to it the first time and why would he? "Why... Why did you do you th - The geists are similar to psyven because of souls."
Even though the words made no sense to Ras, Aldran flinched and didn't look in her direction. "But, you don't eat souls," Ras felt inclined to hesitantly add. She'd seen him eat - it was regular food that anyone could eat without anything added.
"No," Aldran said softly. "There is a...marked difference between us and geists."
Ras was able to stop her frivolous remark about geists being evil and psyven working for the Gods. Only just barely. She waited instead, hoping that Aldran would continue.
Aldran grew silent, his fingers twisting the edge of his tunic and Ras realised that Aldran was giving her a choice to back away, to not ask. She wasn't going to do that.
"What is that difference?"
Aldran froze and then stared at her, his mouth agape. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered.
She nodded.
He didn't say anything for a while, just waiting. When Ras didn't take back her words, worry crept into Aldran's expression.
"But you'll-"
"I've made my decision," Ras interrupted quietly. "This is what I've chosen. Tell me, please."
Aldran squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing suddenly harsh, his mouth working again, but no sound coming out. He let out a long breath, his eyes flicking everywhere but at her. "The difference is…" He swallowed. "Geists need to continually eat souls; psyvens don’t, because…" He paused, his shoulders stiff and his knuckles white against his knees. Ras tried to stem back her wildly charging thoughts and mostly succeeded with a mass incoherent bundle, so much that no singular thread made itself known.
He took another deep breath, making sure they were making eye-contact. Seeing her gaze at him without wavering, Aldran said, "…Because we only need one." Ras couldn't breathe; she knew what he was going to say next. "Our khertan's."
"You haven't eaten my soul," Ras said softly. She would know, wouldn't she? She still had her soul; she was sure of it.
"No, not eaten." Aldran paused again, shaking his head. "We… we share the same soul."
"Share…?" Ras couldn't help but repeat. "We-" She was going to say 'can't' but there was that much conviction in his eyes that the word died on her lips. She took a breath and tried for a different approach. "Why do we share the same soul?" It must have been of the Gods' design, and her words reminded her of something she had read before. "Our souls pair off together to make the one whole? Like that 'soulmates' story we found?"
Summary: Ras has just been chosen by the Gods to protect humans from geists, beings that prey on people's souls. Sent by Them to aid her is Aldran, a psyven; through the bond forged on their first meeting, Aldran can pass his magic to Ras for her to use against the geists. Only those bonded with psyvens can fight the geists, as a psyven's magic is the one magic that is truly effective against them.
But stories are told to children to placate fears and soothe nightmares. Ras has to learn that Aldran and living as a khertan are not what she expected and that the danger is very real.
While she adjusts to her new life, she and Aldran begin to discover all is not as it seems; however, realising and accepting the truth is not easy and ultimately, in the end, is it worth it?
Rating: PG
Notes: Haaaaaaaaaaa, omg, characterisation. XD;;;
...And I'm repeating a part that's already been said in an earlier part, whoops. *keeps going* NaNo time!
I was supposed to post this on Sunday. Pfft. And I missed writing on Sunday and yesterday. Orz Seeing how there's still the rest of the revelation and…at least two fights left to go, I'm noooot sure if I'm going to be able to hit the June deadline. XD;;;;;
Genre: Fantasy/Friendship
Word count: 1,721
Total word count: 63,994
Status: Work in progress
Ras couldn't stop now; not after everything she had learned, not after knowing that what she'd learned had helped to keep her and Aldran alive. Even if - even if she didn't like what she had learned, she had to know it for both their sakes. She had a moment of doubt just then -she'd wanted to forget before; what was stopping her from wanting to forget again once she learned the truth?- except that that thought was reflected in Aldran's eyes and she could see it so clearly. Aldran was expecting her to not push, or learn the truth and then ask for her memories to be erased. Again.
And that made another hard truth hit Ras like a punch to the stomach: he'd known. He'd known about the geists. He'd known about her memory loss and never told her. But he'd always tried to watch her back, tried to make sure that she wasn't about to overwork herself when casting his magic. Protecting her.
She wanted to take a step back and really look at Aldran again, but she knew if she did that he would take that as a sign of her making a decision. And she realised how long she had been standing there and saying nothing, and Aldran could take as an admission itself.
It was the resignation in his eyes, buried pain and acceptance of that in his eyes that made Ras want to hug Aldran. But she didn't want to do it when he looked like that.
"Aldran," she said quietly but firmly, "I want to know." She stole a quick breath and carried on before he could protest. "No, I need to know. Everything we've learned, it's helped us and made sure we live longer, that we can do our job better. I don't - I don't know why I would choose to forget-" here, Aldran flinched, his tail whipping in agitation, and Ras did not like seeing that, and now it wasn't just her curiosity that demanded to be sated anymore "-but I do think that I'm more prepared to handle what this truth is." She hoped, feeling all sorts a liar. She didn't know what she had been thinking last time -had she felt this confident? Had she been warned before what she would be discovering?- and that just made her thoughts spiral. How much time had she lost? Hours? Days? Months? How many of the khertan knew? Did all of the psyven know this? It was making her panic, her heart hammer in her chest, and that was definitely something they both didn't need right now.
When Aldran didn't respond, his eyes away from her, his tail still, Ras swallowed and hesitantly continued talking. "Not knowing enough about the geists has nearly gotten us killed if we hadn't gone searching for ourselves and I... I would prefer to not keep making the wrong assumptions."
"But that has made you happy," Aldran said softly, his eyes still downcast.
And that just made Ras' stomach plummet. She didn't know how to - How could she fight Aldran's conviction when it was the truth that she had already chosen to forget once already? Taking a deep breath, Ras said, "I may have been happy while not knowing, but now... Now I think I feel worse because of it."
"It's what you chose."
Ras sighed, wondering what she had been thinking when she had asked for her memories to be erased. Her eyes slid away before she shook her head. There was one way to find out - if she could just say the words.
Her fingers fidgeted nervously against each other before they started playing with her pendant. She took a deep breath and tried to give Aldran an as direct stare as she could. "That...is what I chose last time; this time, I choose to learn." She couldn't say that she would keep her memories, because she didn't know that, and so did Aldran, his head dipping slightly, his eyes sad.
His mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. "...And if you regret learning it?"
Ras shook her head, gritting her teeth at the despondent tone. "I have learned a lot during my time as a khertan - I have never regretted what we've found. Shocked, surprised, yes, but I have never regretted it."
Aldran sat down heavily on the chair, his shoulders hunched, his tail flicking at at the tip. "I can't. You won't accept it." He mumbled just then, and Ras couldn't catch his words.
Frowning and trying to ignore her slowly developing headache and how much her stomach was twisting, Ras half-wished he wasn't so stubborn. She sat down in the chair next to his, watching him carefully. He wasn't going to tell her, that much was obvious - Ras wasn't sure what she could say to him that would assure him she would keep her memories, especially when she had already proved she had not.
So, if Aldran wouldn't tell her, then she would have to try and puzzle this out by herself and hope that Aldran gave enough accidental hints through his reactions that she could piece it all together. Ras glanced at the discarded book on the table and picked it up, flicking through it again; it had been this book that had started this entire discussion so maybe it could end it too.
"Ras..." Aldran said, a weak warning in his words. "Please, don't."
"This is hurting you," Ras said, keeping her eyes focused on the book, trying to find something, anything that jumped out to her.
"And you'll hurt yourself doing this."
"I don't-" Ras cut herself off with a hiss. She did care if she was hurt, but she also cared that Aldran was hurting and she didn't want some exchange of one person always being hurt. She glowered at the pages in front of her. "You're alone right now; you've been watching me to make sure I don't hurt myself more, but you... When I said I wanted to go to the library to read more about khertan and psyven, you came with me." To maybe try and steer her away from the truth, but he hadn't done that, had he? He'd been there while she gathered up the pieces but never actually held her back; he knew it was important for her to know. "Aldran," she said, lifting her head. "You want me to know, but you're afraid I'll want to forget it again, aren't you?"
Aldran was silent, staring at the rest of the books on the table. All at once, he curled up even further into himself. "It's - you-" He took a shuddering breath. "Yes."
Ras didn't press him, still flicking through the book. It hadn't worked before, and they were mostly going around in circles now. What had they been talking about before this had started? She had realised that... Ras glanced at one of the pages - it had a drawing of a khertan and psyven pair, fighting a geist. That was what it had been: that psyven seemed to have some similarities with geists that it had seemed almost deliberate. And it had been the Gods that had created them, so surely They must have Their reason for it?
She bit her lip, but carried on. It had been the mention of geists eating souls, paired with what that geist had hinted at before. Ras glanced away, her stomach squirming even worse as those pieces fell back together, but she had to know. "Aldran," she said softly, because the idea was absurd, but Aldran had reacted to it the first time and why would he? "Why... Why did you do you th - The geists are similar to psyven because of souls."
Even though the words made no sense to Ras, Aldran flinched and didn't look in her direction. "But, you don't eat souls," Ras felt inclined to hesitantly add. She'd seen him eat - it was regular food that anyone could eat without anything added.
"No," Aldran said softly. "There is a...marked difference between us and geists."
Ras was able to stop her frivolous remark about geists being evil and psyven working for the Gods. Only just barely. She waited instead, hoping that Aldran would continue.
Aldran grew silent, his fingers twisting the edge of his tunic and Ras realised that Aldran was giving her a choice to back away, to not ask. She wasn't going to do that.
"What is that difference?"
Aldran froze and then stared at her, his mouth agape. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered.
She nodded.
He didn't say anything for a while, just waiting. When Ras didn't take back her words, worry crept into Aldran's expression.
"But you'll-"
"I've made my decision," Ras interrupted quietly. "This is what I've chosen. Tell me, please."
Aldran squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing suddenly harsh, his mouth working again, but no sound coming out. He let out a long breath, his eyes flicking everywhere but at her. "The difference is…" He swallowed. "Geists need to continually eat souls; psyvens don’t, because…" He paused, his shoulders stiff and his knuckles white against his knees. Ras tried to stem back her wildly charging thoughts and mostly succeeded with a mass incoherent bundle, so much that no singular thread made itself known.
He took another deep breath, making sure they were making eye-contact. Seeing her gaze at him without wavering, Aldran said, "…Because we only need one." Ras couldn't breathe; she knew what he was going to say next. "Our khertan's."
"You haven't eaten my soul," Ras said softly. She would know, wouldn't she? She still had her soul; she was sure of it.
"No, not eaten." Aldran paused again, shaking his head. "We… we share the same soul."
"Share…?" Ras couldn't help but repeat. "We-" She was going to say 'can't' but there was that much conviction in his eyes that the word died on her lips. She took a breath and tried for a different approach. "Why do we share the same soul?" It must have been of the Gods' design, and her words reminded her of something she had read before. "Our souls pair off together to make the one whole? Like that 'soulmates' story we found?"